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Wishdom


malign

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I wish I had wisdom, for you, today.

I just have a hodge-podge of thoughts, and the urge to post, I'm afraid. Let's see where that takes us, shall we?

I want to be free, and I don't know how. My wife's newest idea, in the quest to find an agreement, is to ask me for copies of my paystubs and other financial information, all of which she already knows. This is precisely the information she vehemently objected giving to me about herself, back when my lawyer started to attempt what they call "discovery". I still don't understand why she's asking; it's all information she already has.

I want to help, and I don't know how. I listen to my heart and say what I think, but I have no way of knowing whether it's the "right" thing to say, and little feedback afterwards, to judge for myself. Is it even my job, I sometimes wonder? Well, if not me, who? So, I do what I can.

I want to live, and I don't know how. I'm beginning to feel my way, and I have very few doubts. It's just difficult to translate into reality, on one hand, and it's an uphill battle against my old habits, on the other. The reality, at the moment, is that I'm in a holding pattern, waiting for something that's only partially under my control. And the habits are always waiting to tell me, in one way or another, what my wife used to tell me, that I'm just a "shit". I know better, as I always have. It's just very difficult to shut out the feeling, when it's nagged into you like that.

So, those are the challenges, and no one else is stepping forward to do them for me. ;-)

Once more into the breach, I suppose.

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Those were actually pretty wise words....

Divorce is a long process, that's just the way it is. It sucks, but one day it's over and life goes on. You wife sounds like a hard cookie (there are those cookies again!!) How long have you been going through the lawyer thing?

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Thank you, sweety. I know you know how I feel.

There is a whole world out there that doesn't say such things, at least not nearly as often.

I hope you'll find yours the way I've found mine.

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Heh, nice timing, Symora. :-)

And please don't put me off cookies like that. A person needs some pleasures.

The amusing thing is, we haven't been doing the lawyer thing. We started, but then she convinced me we could do it ourselves. This set of questions is apparently just from her, not a lawyer. It's very confusing.

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correct me if I'm wrong here but........doing it yourselves doesn't seem to be working. :( How about trying a mediator? How long does this go on before it's time to get lawyers and be done with it? I know they're expensive but I just want so much for you to be able to move one with your life without this unhappy part of your past keeping you chained to it. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but I just care about you and want you to be happy :)

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My ex and I went to a mediator. He turned out to be useless which turned out to be a good thing as we then drew up a financial agreement ourselves and just told him to put it through the process. 'Twas a cheap divorce, we were both adamant that the lawyer wasn't going to profit - every cent he got was a cent our daughters could have got. But mediation is still worth a try, if she is willing.

And for what it's worth - you have enriched my life just by being who you are. :) And I'm not saying that lightly.

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