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Random week-ending bloggage


malign

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{Yes, that's my title. Gotta problem with that?} ;-)

I'm rather less ornery than just plain crabby ... There's nothing huge wrong. Car got fixed, warranty paid over half, not really feeling bad ... I think it's partly my sense of humor, coming out more directly, and partly a feeling that being less direct hasn't really served me.

It's funny: in certain situations, like in the store, I'm actually enjoying my encounters with other people, at least one on one. It's still a pain to navigate a crowded produce aisle, for instance, but I'll actually enjoy chatting with the cashier. I feel sort of expansive, like I don't mind if other people are themselves, because I no longer mind (so much) that I'm myself. If that makes sense to y'all; it does to me.

At other times, though, I still get disconnected from my ... connection. The connection to my Center, I guess you'd say. And yet, because I probably wouldn't even have noticed, before, that I was disconnected, it's probably still a sign of progress. It means I'm starting to feel like I want to stay connected ...

I look back sometimes and see how far I've come, but there's still a lot of road ahead. Certain "P" people try to convince my "J" self that it's the process that counts, but I'm still going to ask whether it has to last so long. ;-)

Ah well, have yourselves a good weekend.

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