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Seroquel numb



Title about says it all. Seems like I am pretty much useless until about 3:00PM waiting for the fog to wear off. Happened at work yesterday and at home today. If I don't take it though I don't sleep and being awake for ~40 hours straight is interesting, but no picnic. Also not terribly productive after the 30th hour awake. Appetite seems to be gone. Not that I don't feel hungry but I don't feel hungry enough to bother getting food.

On the bright side I'm getting more patient with myself. Perfectionism is a big trait for me and my coach is pointing out that some improvement is progress. I'm extrapolating that to other areas of my life and relaxing a little bit around the demands I put on myself.

I have exactly 10 weeks to get a job. If not then it's not the end of the world but it will definitely limit my chances of a high paid career. To that end I need to produce two resumes by Monday. Point in getting money is to help my partner pay off student debt in the high six figure range so that long distance relationship can become no distance relationship. The crap we do for love. Point is, I'm not trying to be a greedy bastard just for power and prestige. I'm also trying to get laid (with my monogamous long term partner mind you). Luckily the seroquel blunts my um, drive, so I am less tempted to stray, but at the same time I am not tempted to leave the house either, which is weird.

I really need to get off my arse and call one of the references i got from my coach. I'm still scared though. If they can't help me then I will be at a loss. I guess I am just procrastinating since the unknown at least carries the possibility of cracking my problem open but if that avenue has nothing then I don't have a plan remaining. Maybe go punch a bear or something.


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