Lately been okay emotionally but that is with heavy assistance from my pals Johnny Walker and his partner Jimmy Beam. It stops the voices and suicidal thoughts but I'm so goddam fatigued I don't know if it's the Seroquel or the booze.

Restarted meditation practice. Heh, it's not called practice for nothing. Meditation seems to make me more virtue oriented. I even start feeling I shouldn't eat meat because I have sympathy with animals that are mistreated on factory farms, and the environmental problems as well. Problem is I love meat and usually it is this discomfort that makes me drop off my practice.

In place of alcohol drinking Chinese tea because it seems to calm me down. First goal is just to make it one day because I am feeling challenged to do even that little. If success then next goal will be 72 hours because this is supposed to be the amount of time short term cognitive effects from heavy drinking last, i.e., I should start feeling smart again after that time.