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Days 2-3



Been just over 72 hours now which means I should have no trace of alcohol left in my system. This may explain why I want it soooooo bad right now. I'm not going to take it though, at least for the moment. It's an hour to hour thing at the moment. I put it away so it would be out of sight.

Voices are back, showing booze > seroquel for whatever the f is wrong with me. Either that or the voices were vodka w/d all along. Except I had voices before I ever started drinking, and I remember that the first drink I took the big payoff for me was that the damn noise stopped for a couple hours and that was the first time I ever felt peace. I really don't like facing this because I like to think of myself as better put together than that, which is why I find meditation hard even though it makes me a better person.

Screw it. Off for a run and I'm just going to focus on form. That and not overdoing it like last time. Hate to be a wuss but long term I think my fitness will be better if I stop before I am so sore I can barely move the next day.


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