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Learning to walk



Severely depressed today, had the day off of work was supposed to be finding places to start building networking contacts, but I have no idea what I did before about 5:30PM. Tried to make it to a SMART recovery (secular CBT based sobriety method) meeting but got lost on the way and was late. I thought I was going to be early, too. Grr. so hard to be on time anywhere.

On the bright side I was productive after that point, switched gym membership to one that was closer to my apartment. I prefer the nicer one that's far away but I'll use the one that's close more often, and less risk of traffic accident. I hope I made the right choice. Personal training appt for this Friday, can't wait to get started on a real plan instead of randomly doing a cardio and weights for an hour and calling it exercise. It is, but with no goals. Changed air filter without A/C kicking on before I was done. Felt good about that but it might not have been the smartest thing to leave the AC on while I was changing it.

Listening to dharma talks in car. It's harder to have road rage when somebody is talking about the Buddha's teachings. I still manage to get upset but not as often. I used to have no road rage but when the anxiety came back up, so did the amped up irritability. Ironically I have cut my caffeine consumption by half. Planning to go to SMART recovery meeting tomorrow. This one is in my neighborhood so I won't get lost. Just hope I actually make it this time.


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