The following is an entry from a blog I've been keeping on another site. I'm reposting this and other select entries because I feel like they provide the most insight into who I am and what I'm going through.

Originally posted June 14, 2011

So I finally told my brother on Sunday. I sent him a Facebook message that said we needed to talk. While everyone was at church I talked to him over FB chat and told him everything. I even had him read my blog. He finished it today and told me that he didn't hate me and that he agreed if I make some friends and then this will probably fade. He said that sex and acceptance go hand in hand when you're 20 and that if I can find acceptance elsewhere it will probably melt away completely. Then he said that he still loves me and doesn't think any less of me.

Its funny because I expected this to be a bigger deal, for his reaction to be much more dramatic then it was. I'm glad it was a positive reaction though, and I'm glad I have such an awesomely understanding brother but I didn't think it would go this well, it makes me feel kinda silly for waiting this long, haha

Note: Since telling him my brother hasn't said anything about it. We live on opposite sites of the country so its somewhat understandable, but I've seen him twice since then and he hasn't even gone so far to ask me how I'm doing. I want to talk to him about it some more but he acts like I never even told him making it very difficult to bring it up again. I'm starting to think that I should talk to my sister about my depression because she'll be a lot more supportive then my brother's been. I won't tell her about my pedophilia because she's only 15 and would probably freak out. From there maybe I can talk to my parents about getting help.