The following is an entry from a blog I've been keeping on another site. I'm reposting this and other select entries because I feel like they provide the most insight into who I am and what I'm going through.

Originally posted July 21, 2011

Its at times like this that I remember all the work I've done and all the good that's come of it.

I remember the kid who was terrified to come to class that I could always coax out of his shell by playing the same little game with him every time he came in and then he was fine and had a blast in class.

I remember the kid who always hit and push other kids who I had to work all year until by the end of it I had to tell him to stop hugging everyone and keep his hands to himself.

I remember the kid who always sat in the corner by the door when she first came in who I had to slowly coax into class. Even then she was very sensitive and I had to help her through her meltdowns and eventually learn what set her off and avoid or warn her about them. Now she's completely fine and runs into class everyday.

I remember the time I was the only one who remembered a food allergy someone had mentioned a few weeks ago and caught it before they gave that food to the kid.

I remember the numerous times, both in class and in the larger church, I've noticed the one kid crying in the corner that no one else saw through all the chaos.

I remember what I'm fighting for. I remember that I love working with kids and that I'm brilliant at it and that I'm going to find a way to make that dream come true.

How strange it is though that the one thing that keeps me going is so closely related to what makes me want to give up.