The following is an entry from a blog I've been keeping on another site. I'm reposting this and other select entries because I feel like they provide the most insight into who I am and what I'm going through. Originally posted August 8, 2011 I've been watching this video series by this pastor where he talks about various religious topics. In the one I just watched he talks about anger. He says that anger isn't always a bad thing, that when people get angry they become almost possessed and that i
The following is an entry from a blog I've been keeping on another site. I'm reposting this and other select entries because I feel like they provide the most insight into who I am and what I'm going through. Originally posted August 2, 2011 I remember once I was helping a 5 year old girl get her shoes on after everyone else had left for the playground. She was already very upset because she couldn't get them on herself and instead wanted to go barefoot, refusing to let me put them on. I had to
The following is an entry from a blog I've been keeping on another site. I'm reposting this and other select entries because I feel like they provide the most insight into who I am and what I'm going through. Originally posted July 21, 2011 Its at times like this that I remember all the work I've done and all the good that's come of it. I remember the kid who was terrified to come to class that I could always coax out of his shell by playing the same little game with him every time he came in an
The following is an entry from a blog I've been keeping on another site. I'm reposting this and other select entries because I feel like they provide the most insight into who I am and what I'm going through. Originally posted June 14, 2011 So I finally told my brother on Sunday. I sent him a Facebook message that said we needed to talk. While everyone was at church I talked to him over FB chat and told him everything. I even had him read my blog. He finished it today and told me that he didn't
The following is an entry from a blog I've been keeping on another site. I'm reposting this and other select entries because I feel like they provide the most insight into who I am and what I'm going through. Originally posted June 14, 2011 When I first started working with the toddlers at my church when I was 13 my father told me to be careful because many people think guys working with small children are creepers. Looking back this seriously messed me up. I was always paranoid about doing some
The following is an entry from a blog I've been keeping on another site. I'm reposting this and other select entries because I feel like they provide the most insight into who I am and what I'm going through. Originally posted May 12, 2011 Warning: The following may be triggering I've talked about a lot of things regarding my pedophilia but there is one very significant part that I've never really talked about: my very first "crush" on a child. This is one of the most disturbing and confusing p
The following is an entry from a blog I've been keeping on another site. I'm reposting this and other select entries because I feel like they provide the most insight into who I am and what I'm going through. Originally posted April 12, 2011 Warning: The following may be triggering I hit rock bottom on my birthday. It was a few months back and I had to work that day. I was already depressed because it was my birthday and I was feeling rather conflicted about teaching which made it even worse. Th
This is a repost from my thread in sexuality issues forum so if you've read that then congrats you're already done with this entry I'm a 20 year old guy suffering from social anxiety, depression, as well as pedophilia. Now, before we go any further please note that I've never acted on these desires because I know they're wrong and that anything I did would hurt the kid. I'm actually very protective of kids in general. I can't stand the thought of someone hurting a child. Its the one issue that
