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Can I play with madness



Warning rude words and a potentially disturbing graphic at the end.

Felt pretty much fine today until hitting a wall around 8PM. Not good to be oscillating between normal and ohmygodican'ttakethisiwannadienownownownow

Shit. well, it was nice to have a break anyway. Besides prolly be back in shape right as rain tomorrow. The thing is, I really want to live, I think. It just hurts. So I don't really want to die just want the hurt to stop. Is it even worth it? I have to ask that a lot lately. Heck maybe I'll keep going just out of sheer stubbornness. Then again, there's such a thing as having the sense to throw in the towel.

See priest tomorrow. Want to ask him to tell me the deal on heaven and hell, angels and demons. Going to extremes like this though is evidence of cognitive distortion. Trace it back. Oops. no, not there. can't face that right now. Back to the drawing board. So much guilt regret fear that i deserve, but I was lost. I didn't know but ignorance of the law is no excuse. THEY don't care and THEY are going to get me and THEY will satisfy their bloodlust. Nevermind that their apathy made me what I am today. The bad people: Kafkaesque machine of biomass.

Psychiatry - It's a little like this:



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