Hi everyone... I just wanted to check in. I dont really know what to say right now... If anyone is out there for me, or with me. Im with you too.

http://youtu.be/Wj-ARXRhzhQ

http://youtu.be/Y75lVEv7Tqw

http://youtu.be/Eb_X8rcf0aU

Hi CGIA,

I don't know if you realize it or not, but your blog is locked to all except moderators. That makes even us feel uncomfortable about answering, because it's hard to know if you want that or not.

You've mentioned in various ways that you feel shut out or isolated to some extent. I'm not aware of anything that I've done, for instance, that would cause that. Have I missed something that I should have been aware of? If you could ask for anything you wanted, what could we do to help you?

For awhile there I guess, I was being triggered super hard. It has gotten better lately.(Noone likes being stuck in a moment.) Ive accepted my fate on certain things, be that as it may. I cant do a damn thing about past events. Sometimes Ive felt like I was fighting the invisible man (or maybe thats just myself.) One of my problems was/is, is I take others situations in wayyyyyyy to much... At recent times I did feel like I had to prove something, but I know I cant please everybody. Ive been trying to lighten up on myself so to speak... Im there for my friends if they need it, im a really good listener!!

And I dont mind responses, btw.

http://youtu.be/9jJf-p6RYvo

Yes, you are a really good listener and you gave me some very valuable feed back. We are here to listen as well and I don't want you to feel isolated, because you are not.

I meant what I said in a totally light hearted way, if it didnt come across like that. Im VERY excited about the future. I know I havent really been a good friend recently. It isnt always easy for me to type, Im not sure why. For different reasons at different times I guess. It was kind of out of my element for me. Im "alittle" bit better talker than I am a typer.

Take it easy today, everyone. I might be on later.