Ralph, I hope this turns out soon to benefit you and help you to grow past these issues. Meditation is a good way to work through things.

Take care of yourself

So sorry to hear that you’ve got stuff still to work on. But it’s good, maybe, that at least you’re not blocking the pain? Usually I can't cry.

I cried and felt awful on Monday. Lots of things, the important thing was that I DID cry. And I felt disoriented, like. That’s something that I had never heard about therapy – that when things shift internally it’s very disorienting.

Maybe you'll reconnect with reality in time? Or reality will reconnect with you? And even though you can't talk about your trauma now without choking up, doesn't it provide you with some hope that your therapist believes that someday you will?

I’m getting to where I can love myself. What a strange feeling. Not loving, because I can do that. But with me as the person or being that my loving is toward.

Take care and good luck with the therapy and the process.

Thanks both of you. I am disoriented but I don't feel I think about the past that much. It feels weird, having different feelings from moment to moment for no discernible reason.