How many times do I have to repeat to myself that

it's not that bad, I am not that bad. In fact, I am quite good. I am a good person. I am smart.

Yes, I am pretty down right now, and a lot of times I have a knot in my throat, I can't concentrate, but I will come out of this. I swear. To myself. I am taking some actions. It is not so terrible to be alone. And, I am not completely alone. I have good friends. I have some work lined up for this weekend. I know I feel bad because I see some of my ex getting girlfriends, and I feel ashamed or something, but it is not shameful to be alone. I need to be alone and sort some things out right now. I just feel unsettled and uncomfortable but it will pass! It will! Soon. I will be up and running again and free of all these thoughts that are clogging my brain. I just have to feel it and let it go even if it makes me cry sometimes, even if it's uncomfortable. I can do it. I am strong. Much more than I give myself credit for. The grief will be over and my life will go on. I will get through this.