This is a "note to self' again, but you are more than welcome to comment...
Depression and anxiety, is in many ways a form of 'anger' that is basically turn inwards, at self, for lack of knowing what to do anymore, how to fix things, to avoid Fear and sadness. It's like the 'good kid' s syndrome:
-so, I am not allowed to be angry at others. I've tried and tried to walk on eggshells, fix things around me, but nothing works and my situation is still 'not happy', so the problem must be me.
On the other side of the spectrum of anger, there is rage. And this is the 'bad kid's response.
-Why is everyone and everything not working for me? Others and things outside me are the problem. I am angry and I want to destroy or make these things or people pay or disappear.
Most of us, when we feel this extreme form of anger feel really distressed. How can I be like this? This is wrong. So then I would go back to feeling anxious and depressed.
In both cases, either anger or depression, I think one of the key component that makes these state of mind possible is a sense of 'helplessness'. This means: No matter what I do, things wont change, What I do doesn't make a difference. So you just feel trapped. And incredibly frustrated. It is even more present in depression than in anger, however. In anger turned outwards, there is still a bit of 'fight' left in you... It is just not harnessed well.
But, if you feel like you have either of these predicaments present in your life, it's going to sound strange, but REJOICE! Because, there are components in these states of mind that you can use, and turn around to get back on track. As in anger, you still have the sense of self protection, and in depression, you still have the sense of wanting self improvement.
I'll come back to this.
I have talked about ruminating before. People do this a lot. Even people who are not depressed. In studies, they have found that women do it more than men...This is why women tend to oscillate more towards the depressive side [...]. We could go on about stats but, you can check it out for yourself...
The thing about ruminating that has been shown in studies is that people who do it have more chance to slip into depression than people who do not ruminate. So keep that in mind for a second...as I continue my little dissertation.
on by constantly reliving past fears, and past sadness. Retriggering ourselves, in the present, with things that have actually happened a long time ago.
And of course, ruminating about a situation is the way we remain in a painful state of mind, much longer than we should.
Ruminating: What is rumination? see here.