So now I am going to post a lil about what up. So in the past few days I;ve been sitting and thinking a lot, which is ok.

My mood isn't bad. good.

My shoulder. Mmmm not so good, but that ok.

I'e been doing some things, but mostly sitting here writing and contemplating. Sitting on my porch door and watching my roomy come in and out, doing things, as I do, well not much. smoking cigarettes and stuff. argh.

can;t wait till I kick this addiction.

now I'm gonna see if I can go to the gym.

I've been seeing this new guy... Which is good. we are on to date three. no kisses. not much touching. just talking. going to the movies and eating.

I am enjoying this process very much. It's calm and just learning about each other.

I know yesterday, I think he wanted to kiss me. But I am not ready. He is attractive. sure. we have some stuff in common. All is ok. But we'll just see. Trying to take this slow. As I am not sure if he's right for me. He has had a pretty rock and roll back ground. I did too.

He told me he wasn't talking to his parents for 12 years! He's 34. That's pretty harsh.

but he doesn't drink much. So it seems. He does some exercise. Well, since last year.

but I know he wasn't very happy in his 2 past relationships before. As I have a friend who knows him. So, this is a big thing for me. I don't want to get into a bad relationship. No way. I want to make sure he is going to treat me right. that we are going to treat each other right. So I don't want to get too heavy too quick. Because then I get all tangled up and have a hard time making decisions for my own well being. Which means, being happy, healthy, and taking care of myself is way more important than being in a relationship.

I want to make sure he has evolved from his bad past as much as I have. I don't care so much that he has a past. What is important to me is that he has learned to control his emotions, can treat somebody in a loving way because he loves himself. And is over bad habits and addictions.

When someone is all happy and attracted to you, it's really hard to see these things, until some hurdle happens.

So far he has treated me right. We'll see.

This is where I am right now.