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Affirmations, and what they do


tourdelove

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So, as we know, I am the ultimate critic and skeptic. It's pretty hard to convince me of something if I have decided it's 'stupid'. Luckily, lately, and since I have talked to my T about what I need from her, she's been much harsher with me :)... Ok, I don't mean she's been treating me bad, but she's been rattling my cage pretty good. I said, you know, I am hard to convince, I don't mean any disrespect, but for me to get into something, I have to know that it's not bull crap. She listened to me for a while, going on and on about how I think this is whoo-whoo, and lala, and whatever. And then she said, ok. Well, why don't you go ahead and read this, oh and while you're at it, read this, and this. And if that's not convoncing, then we'll talk about it some more.

So I went and read. Dr this and Dr that did such and such controled, double blind experiment, and blablabla... Ok, Ok, I get it. My brain hurts. But I get it. So, yah, now I trust her. But she still continue to convince me. It's good that I met a T that's just as stubborn as I. And thank G she's not offended. I guess she has no time for it.

So, I wasn't learning my affirmations, but let me tell you, now I know them by heart. And I use them. Why? because they work.

When I use them it depends on what I am telling myself. I conteract different thoughts and beliefs about myself and the world with different affirmations. I am trying to rewire my own brain. Now, it's much easier when I can catch, just as I think it, the:

"Why am I so stupid?" or "I hate my life" etc.

I go NO! STOP! STOP! STOP! It's not true. I don't 'hate' my life? What the? It's like a battle in my mind and I am winning mooo-hahah! take that sucka! And that!

To be continued, cus I have to go to my appointment with the shoulder specialist...wish me luck :P

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This would've been more convincing if you hadn't broken into Evil Villain laughter when you started winning ... :-)

Here I thought I was the ultimate skeptic.

How about if I wish you healing rather than luck. It's probably more what you need, anyway. (Luck would imply that it's not under your control.) ;-)

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ohhhh you're good, you're real good and attentive! Yes, indeed! Luck is not a way to run your life.

So went to the dr. Waited two hours. by the end of it I was starting to feel frustrated and really angry and shaky. Ding! I was in a bad mood. Not the way to meet a new doc. I feel not so proud about that. Anyway she was nice enough, considering I was passive aggressive again. Didn't think to do the affirmations. I hate it when I do that. So not cool. Cus I know it doesn't get me anywahere. if anything, it gets me less good service than if I was smiling and not bitter.

Next time, I'll remember to be smiling and knowing she wants to help and it's not her fault if I wasn't diagnosed properly...

Anyway, progostic is 3 more months in a sling, so the fracture heals. And STOPPING SMOKING!!!!! DUH! I knew this, but it's always more like a slap in the face when the doc tells you this. One more freakin good motivation to stop right the F now! So I am. Seems like I have to have my cage rattled so I actually do stuff. It's kind of anoying. I annoy myself with this behavior. But, I am glad people can still help me even if I am beeing not easy to help!

So anyway. It's all good. I'll keep on keeping the chin up. Putting the bad behavior behind me. Remembering that I can do better. And I will also talk more about anger with my T, because it seems to be a reocuring theme for me that I need to fix as well. I don't want to be like this anymore.

I seem to know somewhat what to do with the depressive mood, but when I start to feel angry and blaming it on the world, it's harder to snap out of it.

anyway.... So I'll keep on smiling now.

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