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im so sick of all this crap and this crappy life and if that sounds self pitiful and makes me a liar then so what! i dont care anymore.

i have so much stuff going on right now that i think im going to explode my life is like a soap opera ..oh wait no it cant be ..in soap operas they have friends,go to the local visit each other :) and screw around all the time, ah fck it im going to get pssed, forget the calories i'll hate myself tomorrow (what? and i dont right now lol) but who the fck cares...i am really really really really fcking ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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And in soap operas, everyone shuts up every few minutes for the adverts. ;-)

Yeah. That's how I know which this is.

But what made me respond is really up in your description ... My soon-to-be-but-not-soon-enough-to-suit-me ex-wife had the same approach to arguing. She had to keep going, saying worse and worse things, until you reacted (did I say "you", I meant "I"), because that's how she measured how much people care about her. Pretending not to care (which was my defense, too) just made it worse. It's like someone who says "I'm a manipulator, dammit, and I want to be a good one, so I'm going to keep trying until it works!"

Ah well, pardon me venting on top of your 'angry', I guess it's one way of saying "I know what you mean."

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Thankyou for taking the time to read my ramblings!

It isnt a defence thing though, i didnt pretend not to care i really didnt care the only thing i did care about is that he wouldnt accept that and shut up lol

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