fed up and feeling sh!t went to see my ex the other day and it was going really well i spent a few days at his place and it was great having fun with him again and his company..until bedtime! the first night i managed it thought i should after weeks of being apart plus he'd bought me a nice outfit and a few drinks...so i didnt say anything just admtted i was scared but didnt complain and said ok..i just cried but did it though it was a disaster.

the next night he left me alone..phew!

night after he wanted to i didnt and it ended up really badly in the end i left at 3 am after nag nag nag.

he tries to understand and doesnt always go on but sometimes he wont drop it and im not sure by the things he says or does that he's doing things that he shouldnt but somehow i always end up in the wrong and am the nasty one and it makes me mad and feel like sh!t i already feel guilty about it all without adding to it.