I am writing a lil update on the life within.
Well, on the outside, life has been pretty good to me recently. I have been working. 2 part time jobs where it's been happy. just enough challanges to keep me happy and learning and content. I haven't done too many f^ ups that I feel good about what I have accomplished. I have been offered new jobs where I have been able to say "well, here is where I am at... if it works for you" and people have been responding well.
You know, in all these places it strange but people have been accepting me, and it feels good. I do feel a bit like "Dexter" in some way, where my inner self is different than my outer self. But I am feeling good about the outcomes.
I am still seeing the same guy, and watching him in a way as I don't want to get hurt but he's been good to me in all for the past 2 months. so I am happy. I say 'on the outside' as I quite aware that the 'happy' feelings coming from good events is different from a sense of contentment comming from the inside which is what I strive for and that I am aware is quite difficult to achieve. But I take it while it's there and build the feeling of goodness that should exist even when all of that good input is waning. I taste it and try to store it and try to understand how it comes about so that when there's harder times again, I remember how it felt and will not forget that it comes and it goes. I try to remember that feeling good about yourself ultimately comes from the inside and is the most difficult but most delightful task of life.
hope that most is well with you too!
love on the path