Well, here I am again.

Long time. I know. There is no excuse, except the fact that I needed to be out in the world.

Yet another 'boyfriend' that didn't work out, and quickly here, another new year.

I am doing well, all in all. Lots has happen in the past months, new jobs, a stint as a woman in a relationship, A MRI that turned out just fine.

But I am still battling some old demons. Loneliness for one. Being away from my family at Christmas is hard. Yet, I don't want to be there either in a way. Trying to take myself out of relationships that aren't good for me is also hard because the alternative is being alone more. I know that there is some alternatives. I could go out into the world some more, make new, healthy friends, but there is something keeping me from doing much more than I could. And I am not sure what it is.

I got closer to a man, which was good in a lot of ways, but he had some behavior problems that I didn't want to deal with. It's like it was too hard to take.

At work, sort of same ol. I don't feel too comfortable there. I try to not feel like people are against me, but still feel it. A long learned feeling and behavior pattern that's difficult to get rid off.

But I am glad that I am trying to find what's right for me, regardless of ol patterns.

well, that's it for now

hope all is well for y'all