"This includes staying with someone who gives little or not love or affection and never promises any kind of real commitment."

Well that didn't happen to me this time. I am glad for it, even if I am alone. It is strange though. I know that if I would have been drawn in by more 'attributes' that I like, I would have stayed. Maybe.

I just need to keep that in mind.

Change is extremely difficult to achieve, but I still refuse to believe that someone cannot change.

Right now I feel that my hopes and my ideas on how I could run my life don't match how I actually run my life and it brings some anxiety. Either I need to lower my expectations for myself, or change my behavior some more.

It is hard because I see, or I think I see other people achieving what I think is a healthy way to run their life and I feel I have little motivation to do it myself, even if I dream of it.

I want my dreams to match my reality a little more.