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went to therapist


Lindamomof7

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Well I did pretty good today, felt like shit but called my therapist and she saw me right away. It's been about 6 wks since I saw her...

I told her I feel like a turtle, pulling in my head and protecting it under the hard shell....

It's all about trauma I guess. We revealed a few more pieces to my past which correlates to my shutting out everyone and Dr's so I guess I had a good day.

And we talked about the post today from the "flasher" ......

Next is a visit to the Dr maybe tomorrow, I hope I am still feeling up for this and my panic/anxiety stays low......

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Thanks well I have been up most of the night again with a little snooze on the couch.... slept a little before midnight so I am getting "some" but very little sleep....

I hope I can see him today , tomorrow might be diffeent for me.... and its hard because his office is in the private psych hospital I go to so that alone can sometimes be a problem especially now that I have anxiety /panic again....

I will keep you posted...

How are YOU????

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I know Sue, it can be hard but we just keep plugging along right????

I went to my womens trauma support group last night. I haven't seen them in 3 weeks since I turned into a turtle with my head in my shell. (Thta should be my new picture:))

They said they were worried about me, between the way I was feeling and that I kept "zoning" out on them....

And I'm suppose to see my Dr on friday but not sure I want to go. I know he supports me with my decision to try and not take meds but i just hate the conflict and feeling like he and my therapist are just waiting for me to crash enough to have to go to the hospital. I havent signed my mental health directive yet and in that says I give my husband permission to admit me when I don't want to..... It avoids commitable basically... so I am hesitant about signing with the way i feel right now

You know this is a perfect example of how my moods affect my life. I pursue things when I feel fine, then that gets short lived and I have to deal with the flip of mood and how it affects my decisons from when I was feeling good(normal)... It really sucks!!!

well hang in there and "breathe" enjoy your day.....:D

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Hey linda, well if youre gonna change your picture to a Turtle with its head inside the shell, I reckon Im gonna change mine to a Womble, Hmmm that or a Osterich with its head burried in the sand :)

I know its a difficult decision about seeing your doc on fri, especially with how you are feeling at the moment. I can relate with your moods. With me it really is all or nothing, Im either all out to get the help I need and do everything Im told to do to try get better (thats when Im in a hyper good mood) its still real hard but I just suck it in and get on with things.And just laugh at myself coz of my own incompetance, coz well everything becomes funny in a ironic, sarcastic kiinda way :D

Then ofcourse there is the other end of the scale, the one that these days Im stuck in, and it becomes Murphies Law that I somehow survive.

oooppsss, this is your blog (sorry)

Good luck with the docs, hope that you decide to go through with it. :)

Take care hun

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Your too funny!!! :) thats good...and no,it's "our" blogs :)

yes thats how I feel too challenging my pdoc whenver I can with new info and then the joke here between my pdoc and my therapist is that I "fire" them. Thatisi how we coined it and now I am just "turtling"....

Lucky for me I dont have them firing me!!!! actually I tried to cut all ties but they were like a bad penny, always there anyway!!!

yes we should change our pics!!!

and I just cancelled my appt tomorrow just before i read your reply!!!! :D

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Quick, call em back, re make the appointment, your allowed to change your mind :)

Dont worry they are used to people cancelling last minute (or they should be :D) (ive done it often enough)

Yep thats the thing with p/docs, you can cut all connections with them, (or so you think) and like a bad penny they keep turning up. in my case probably just as well. :)

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his secretary and I are pretty close and we are meiling back and forth this morning, she really wants me to come in and I cant say to much to her because I am not safe and I just dont know what to do though.....

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Hi Sue

safe as in not doing anything stupid to myself.....

I have never ever been a cutter or self harm person, I just never understood it but last night I ended up slashing up my stomach.... what the hell is that all about????

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