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Happy? Birthday to Me

malign

Entry posted by malign

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Well, I'm another day older.

Forty-seven years ago, but yesterday, my mother went into the hospital in labor. However, a helpful but misguided nurse gave her something to put her to sleep, thereby postponing my birth for over twelve hours. To the end, my mother would have to correct herself that I was not born the 2nd of December, because that's the day she went in.

Anyway, enough avoidance ... Basically, it's not a good day to think about her, especially about the distance there was between us at the end. Or rather, it's probably a good day to think about her, but I'm having a hard time with it. It's difficult to keep the emotions in check, and we all know how important it is to keep the emotions in check .

I hate pretending. And I hate that I do it all the time.

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sweetcindylouwho

Happy, belated, birthday, malign....

I am curious about your user name, care to express?

I really identified with a couple of items in your entry...

1) I will be 47 in half a year

2) I don't know what is/has gone on w/ your mom - but I have mom issues (too?)

3) I love your sarcasm :)

4) I HATE PRETENDING TOO!!!!!

Why do we have to pretend? I am a just sooooo ready to just be me and if others don't care for me then oh well....As for behavior, I only owe it to myself (and maybe my close family like my loving children and husband) to behave well. If I can't behave well, I want to choose to NOT pretend but rather be me and if I screw up, try to apologize and hope that if others really care about me then they will forgive me and help me....Now, can I really carry that out? I am gonna try....

Hope you didn't have a sucky birthday, Hope you had some Happy in there....cindy

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sweetcindylouwho

I have thought, now that I have read to the beginning of your blog, that I should let you know (since I am newish to the blogging thing and don't fully know how it all works) that I did read back to the beginning of your blog - starting at this entry. I have placed comments on just about all of your entries..... feel free to respond ( is that how it works? ) or visit my blog...

Additionally, I find it interesting that you started your blog mid-November. What was the impetus? Mine is easy... new diagnosis, seeking others of like kind....

Hope to hear from you, I have many curiosities... :)

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