had to check mom in to hospital

[wantingtohelpmom]

I feel very lost and scared and do not know what to expect. My mom had a break down and we had to take her to the ER after we couldnt get her calmed. They admitted her to Psych and I feel like hell leaving her there. She is very depressed and I dont know how to help her. She just lost her job after not being able to return to work in the alloted time after being hit head on in a car accident that was not her fault. Also, as a result of her injuries, she will never be able to do what she used to and now feels wortthless and wants to give up. I know that it is a good sign that she signed her self in, but I am scared to death and dont know how to help her, I need help

[jimmyfay2]

Hey there,

Let me just say that what you are feeling is totally understandable. You feel like you've just 'dumped' her off, and left her to her own devices... but that is not true. She is in a safe place, and a great place to be during her crisis. I checked myself into a hospital back in 1992 and it was the scariest and best thing I ever did. I didn't know what to expect, but I knew that I was at the end of my rope. I never felt safer in my life! I was in a place where I could just fall completely to pieces and start over. That is very hard to do in the 'real world'. I tried for so long to hold on, and holding on was exactly the opposite of what I needed to do. Only by breaking into a million little pieces was I able to get rid of the pieces that didn't work anymore. Does that make sense?

We spend so much time trying to hold it all together, and there are so many times when we just need to fall apart. I watch my baby have little temper tantrums and find myself feeling jealous. She has a need, it doesn't get met right away and instead of stuffing it, or pretending everything is alright, she just FREAKS!!! Then she's over it and moves on to the next new experience. Somewhere along the way, we are told that having overwhelming emotions is a bad thing... it is a wonderful thing and serves a purpose. We stuff and stuff and stuff until finally we explode then immediately feel bad for exploding so we stuff the feeling bad about exploding and on and on and on...

It sounds like your Mom finally got to that place where she had no other choice but to explode. This could be the greatest moment of change in her entire life. Let her have that. More important, let yourself have some peace knowing that she is in a safe place and can run the gauntlet of her emotions surrounded by people who can help her through it.

And by the way, it's ok to have your own little breakdown in response to all this... as my friend's little boy once told me, when he was 4 years old, "...when i hurt in my heart it makes my eyes leak so the pain can come out..."

-Jimmyfay2

[paula]

Hi wantingtohelpmom & Jimmyfaye

I tried for so long to hold on, and holding on was exactly the opposite of what I needed to do. Only by breaking into a million little pieces was I able to get rid of the pieces that didn't work anymore. Does that make sense?

We spend so much time trying to hold it all together, and there are so many times when we just need to fall apart. I watch my baby have little temper tantrums and find myself feeling jealous. She has a need, it doesn't get met right away and instead of stuffing it, or pretending everything is alright, she just FREAKS!!! Then she's over it and moves on to the next new experience. Somewhere along the way, we are told that having overwhelming emotions is a bad thing... it is a wonderful thing and serves a purpose. We stuff and stuff and stuff until finally we explode then immediately feel bad for exploding so we stuff the feeling bad about exploding and on and on and on...

I understand all to well when you mention 'that by breaking into little pieces, you were able to rid of them pieces, by trying to start a fresh?' Only, with me, I have broke into them little pieces, that many times, That I'm surprised they have not turned into fragments?

You have to be cruel to be kind! The best thing to do now is let it be for a while. Let the people who are medically trained get on with their job, with trying to help your mother! I know this may sound hard, but maybe you should stay away from the hospital, just for a few days, so that your mom will not be so frustrated like she is? Just a thought!

[mscat]

I feel very lost and scared and do not know what to expect. My mom had a break down and we had to take her to the ER after we couldnt get her calmed. They admitted her to Psych and I feel like hell leaving her there. She is very depressed and I dont know how to help her. She just lost her job after not being able to return to work in the alloted time after being hit head on in a car accident that was not her fault. Also, as a result of her injuries, she will never be able to do what she used to and now feels wortthless and wants to give up. I know that it is a good sign that she signed her self in, but I am scared to death and dont know how to help her, I need help

Your mom has A lot to deal with all at once. She is in a safe place right now getting the help she needs. This was hard for you to have to do, however it was the best things for her. She needs time to recover from the trauma of the car accident and job loss. Those are huge incidents that have affected her life. Coping with all these things are too much, and she has become severely depressed. Something, that is understandable. If she can not work anymore then she will be able to apply for Social Security Disabilty. It is a very good sign that she signed herself in. That means she recognizes she needs the extra help and willing to get it.