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I'm new here. I'm desperate- 32 years old, alternating between anorexia, bulimia, exercise addiction, alcohol addiction. Right now I'm in the middle of a bulimic weekend. I can't believe I'm struggling with this still. This began when I was 12. 20 years of this struggle and I am exhausted. But I continue to struggle, everyday. I'm looking for people who understand and share these experiences. I have no one in my life who I trust right now to talk about this with. Every time I feel I have something figured out and I'm on the right path, I fall back into old patterns and I feel like I'm starting over. I'm exhausted.


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Hi Kellyt,

It is certainly exhausting dealing with this sort of thing--wanting to deal with food and exercise normally, and struggling to do so. I don’t have an eating disorder but I can definitely relate to your story. Dealing with it can be a daily battle and it gets tiring after a while. I know that slip ups like the one that you describe can be very unsettling but from what I understand they are often part of the process. How are you dealing with it?

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi kellyt,

Welcome to our community.

It is really important to get yourself into psychotherapy for eating disorders. In fact, you need a team approach so that there are several people helping you: a psychiatrist for medications, a psychologist for the psychotherapy and a nutritionist to help you plan meals, weigh you and help to stick to your plan.

It is not too late, even though you are lamenting your age.


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After struggling for 20 years, I can imangine how exhausted you must be. Eating disorders, and addictions have a way of taking over ones life and grabbing a hold . If you are ready to change and learn new behaviors , then I would suggest that you think about going into an ewting disorder in patient program. One that specailizes in addictions too. you have to be firmly commited in getting well and changing. It is not easy. However, you will learn new and healthier ways of taking care of yourself, and breaking the cycle of the eating disorder.

I feel for you, because I too have once suffered terribly from anorexia/ and bulimia, with theft impulses.

It is never too late to feel better and be on the road to recovery. Inpatient only allows a person to have a break from life and get back on track. It is the extra support and push that is needed in order to get healthy again and take back your life.

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