pardal Posted January 18, 2009 Report Share Posted January 18, 2009 (edited) I'm a 33 year old European female, living in spain. I face depression for several years. When i feel better i drop medication and some months after i face it all over again. January is my birth month and is very dificult for me because i feel my existence is very patetic and time is passing by me. I realy need to talk to someone...I’m quit successful in my profession. I’m perfectionist I never take a risk on something I don’t dominate. I never admit not knowing something…It’s very difficult for me to establish a relationship with others. I have no social skills. I’ve never had a intimate relationship with a men. All this makes me feel “out” and very lonely. I’m always very sad but I’m not able to admit that to anyone I know. I hate the idea of people knowing how sad my live is. I’m soo confused but I don’t want to come back to medication. Edited January 19, 2009 by pardal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted January 19, 2009 Report Share Posted January 19, 2009 Hi pardal! You have taken an important step by reaching out! It is so very difficult to be so locked in to our patterns of thoughts that can be so negative and limiting. Extending yourself to others in positive relationships can help a bit to break up those tendencies. Tell us more about yourself. What do you like to do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pardal Posted January 19, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2009 Sorry for my bad English. It’s not easy for me to translate my feelings in a language that I don’t dominate.As time goes by have more difficulty to go out and do things alone – like travel, or going to the cinema, or theatre. I love those things but when I go out I just see people around me with company and I’m alone. I don’t enjoy things I just fell distressed and lonely. My head is like having 100 thoughts at the same time and I’m not able to focus in anything. I have the feeling I would be better if I just could sleep for a long time.I know I should go out, try to meet people, do things that I enjoy, but I can't, you know? I'm not capable of...I just work. A lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted January 19, 2009 Report Share Posted January 19, 2009 Could you ease your way a bit by going to see a therapist? That would be a safe environment to air your feelings and connect with someone and to give you a foundation to branch off from. Is that possible for you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pardal Posted January 19, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2009 I tried therapy some years ago. It was a dificult step and the result was bad. I hated it. I felt judged by her. After about 5 sessions i quited. I must admite I have been thinking about try again but I just need to find a therapist I could trust. I know I need help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted January 19, 2009 Report Share Posted January 19, 2009 I didn't like my first therapist (a counselor, really) either. My second one saved my life. My third one, terrible. Fourth was OK. Fifth, terrible. Sixth, stellar! (I might have forgotten a couple). If you're lucky your life will be long and you'll be rich with therapy tales. (This is probably the only site that would appreciate that kind of a boast ) Anyway, sometimes we really need a person to sit and talk with to get us back on track with making friends with ourselves and others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pardal Posted January 19, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2009 you made me smile now. thanks.I'm relutant but I will think about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 You are always welcome to think about it with us! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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