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i feel disgusted with myself


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i have a vore fetish (and also many others, yet vore could be considered my "main fetish")

i started getting into it when i was 11. it started with some soft, harmless vore i saw on deviantart, then i started getting interested in more heavy stuff, like anal vore, inflation, and even scat for a while (i guilt tripped myself into never jerking off to that though, yet i still get some thoughts about it)

i have never been sexually abused in my entire life, i had a relatively normal childhood, and really the only problem i have is my anxiety and depression, which has only worsened by my fetish.

my parents are extremely strict and i am extremely paranoid about them finding out.

i know this isnt as severe as being into cp or something, yet i still feel like my fetish extracts from my worth. sometimes i feel like i'll never be a functioning member of society because of it. i feel utterly disgusted with myself and i swear to god that i feel like ending my life everytime i masturbate. it makes me feel worthless and a waste of space, and i sometimes feel like not even trying to talk to people because i'm a sick fuck who nobody would ever date.

i masturbate once a day everytime i go to sleep, its an addiction. i dont know if thats useful information but ok

i dont know where i'm going with this. i just needed to vent for a bit on somewhere where i (probably) wouldnt get criticized.

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Is all or the majority of your masterbation centered around vorarephilia?  

I believe people's fantasies fulfill a certain need. Need as in "longing". You might want to ask yourself what need of yours this fantasy fulfills.  

The world of fantasy is up for grabs.  We all have some bizarre and extreme ones.  I have had some that I would not even share here.  So don't feel bad.  

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I didn't have a clue what it was so I googled it. Doesn't seem that bad to be honest, I've wanked off over much worse shit ha. But yeh, if it's an issue, then it's not good for the soul. I always try to imagine it as taking a semen shit. You can bang on all day about how dirty shitting is, but it's got to be done, just watch what gets you there and flush it away. As Doug Stanhope says "drain that thing like the cist that it is and get on with your day". 

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