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Difficult Dad, don't know what to do, please help


WinterSky
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My father has been severely psychologically abusive all my life, even more so now, and has a way of twisting things up in your head as if to pull and push at the same time. I can't describe the feeling but it is awful! He sucks me into his shit and it is working because I depend on him for part of my rent. I limit contact with him but he keeps wanting to come over to my apartment. He is the type who would barge in without permission. He has no respect for personal boundaries and just gives me this God awful sick feeling and he is so sick in the head.

I called the police once because he was harassing me and wouldn't leave me alone, but they didn't take me seriously because he is 88. Physically he is like in his early 60's and his mind is alert and focused. I asked his doctor recently if he needed assistance in any way and he said that my father is able to handle his own affairs and does not show any signs of dementia. He still drives a car.

I have these awful daydreams and can't seem to control them. I think he is driving me to commit suicide. He told me in recent weeks something to the effect that he would have to be my executor as if I am going to die. Also, I am afraid that if he pushes the wrong buttons, I might hurt him and pay with my own life in prison.

He has sabotaged my life at every turn. People outside the family think he is normal and intelligent. No one believes what my siblings and I say about him. What do I do? The police don't take me seriously.

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Oh WinterSky, that has got to be one of the most difficult things of all, bearing up to a family member who is out of control, especially when no one else sees what's going on. That is THE hardest thing about my life, I assure you, and there are people currently going through this here too. IT MAKES YOU CRAZY!!!!!! I can so picture you talking to the police, and they are, like, what are you talking about, this old man is bothering you? C'mon.....

Is there ANY way you can get independent financially so you don't have to keep up this craziness?

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Oh WinterSky, that has got to be one of the most difficult things of all, bearing up to a family member who is out of control, especially when no one else sees what's going on. That is THE hardest thing about my life, I assure you, and there are people currently going through this here too. IT MAKES YOU CRAZY!!!!!! I can so picture you talking to the police, and they are, like, what are you talking about, this old man is bothering you? C'mon.....

Is there ANY way you can get independent financially so you don't have to keep up this craziness?

I am too emotionally unstable right now. My meds have been changed, tweaked, and changed again and it just isn't working. Damned if I do and damned if I don't do something. I feel so isolated as I try to limit contact with any family member as the interactions with any one of them is quite unhealthy. I separated from my sister several months ago and all the sudden she starts calling me and emailing me.

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