Losing your first erection

[Joboo]

In my mid fourties I remember losing my first erection, my wife and I were in the middle of it and nothing happened to cause it I just slowly went soft and it didn't get fully hard again no matter what she did, it was upsetting to me and her since she was premenopausal and horny all the time. In the morning there it was, my faithful friend so I didn't give it much thought. I was gone for a couple of nights working. The night I got back I was horny and initiated sex and out of the blue she says " are you sure? You got so upset about losing your hard on." Well, fuck me. I hadn't even thought about it and now I couldn't get a hard on. She became frustrated and gave up. I on the other hand was suicidal. At the time I didn't realize she caused the second occurrence which became the third and fourth. I go to see a urologist and tell him what happened, pretty much just how I told you. He starts to smile and snicker saying " I was ambushed." What?  He said if my wife hadn't brought it up you probably would have performed like always, since you're telling me you have erections every morning. He gives me a couple of viagra and tells me to not tell her I've taken them unless I start feeling sick or something. I do as he says and that weekend after a party down the street I pop it when I see her giving the signs she's about ready to go. I'm squeezing her ass as we walk up the street and she kind of indicates she's tired. We hit the sack I press and she feels my hard on against her leg and she was ready to go. I must say I was magnificent. She had two orgasms and during the second said I felt bigger, deeper. I pretty much came as soon as she said that then still had a magnificent hard on. 

The problem was solved except for now I realized my erection was not what it used to be. First time without viagra she commented it felt smaller. Like she was trying to ambush me again. It didn't work, then I wondered if she started the whole thing purposely, reminding me I lost my erection after the first one. She can be mean and is a very jealous person and after some time has gone by I've noticed she can't wait to pounce on me when she sees she has the upper hand on something.

Thoughts about the happenings here, was she just ignorant when I lost my first erection or mean and spiteful? I feel the latter but I've felt her meanness grow over the past few years since then. I would expect that maybe after menopause but what do I know about it.

[LostBoy]

If you've been married a long time then you most likely know your wife much better than I do.

It doesn't sound malicious,  the way you told the story, but it's difficult to make a judgement call on here.

[Joboo]

True, I think she had no idea how mental a thing like that can be. I had no idea either until the dr told me it was in my head. I never thought about it much after that at all. It was fun after taking a viagra and she was unaware. It surprised me that I wasn't getting as hard since it happens over time.