mixed up

[Jerry]

Lots of stuff is going on. I suffer from severe anxiety and major depression. I also have an extreme anger problem. My doctor and I have uncovered some long ago forgotten terrifying memories. Some having to do with my own thoughts and actions, and some having to do with sexual abuse. I'm trying to keep it together, but I just keep getting bombarded with these terrifying memories and emotions. The fact that this stuff is coming out makes it easier for me to have an anxiety attack or slip into depression. My best friend tells me that the fact that this stuff is coming out is really good in the long run. In the short run, it sucks. I feel emotionally confused. I feel like feel like I'd rather be under the influence of alcohol or drugs. I want to go out and pick fights with people. I'm not doing any of those things, but that's what I feel like doing. I want to do things that would distract me from the pain that I'm going through. I need some support.

[paula]

Hi Jerry & welcome to our Community!

If its support you want, well you'll get enough of that on here!

I must say, that reading through your post, felt like it was me who had written this post!

I suffer from Manic Depression, Anxiety, Panic attacks among other things.

I feel emotionally confused. I feel like feel like I'd rather be under the influence of alcohol or drugs. I want to go out and pick fights with people. I'm not doing any of those things, but that's what I feel like doing. I want to do things that would distract me from the pain that I'm going through. I need some support.

I can relate to every word that you've written. It is hard! At least there's one good thing that will come out of this, you are speaking out about your Trauma, I'm afraid that I don't/won't! But if you feel that this is helping you, then go for it! I just can't seem to repeat my stories to anyone!

I've had professional help to try & help me deal with my situation's, but I can't spill it out like you? (Please don't be offended to the way I worded that)

But it's as if I'm being tortured mentally if you know what I mean? I would love to be able to talk and get it out in the open, but I can't! I've tried, but I freeze!

It will help you in the long run though! Just getting it of your chest will help you immensily. Good luck!

[mscat]

Hi Jerry !

I agree with Paula that it is very hard to get it out sometimes. If not impossible. The memories are coming back for a reason and I think it has to do with the trauma you have been through in your life. It is nearly impossible to get rid of that, and it does have a way to come back and haunt us.

I hope you have someone to talk to about this, it helps to get the feelings out, and to recieve feedback. You are not alone, and you have come to the right place to get support.