Proverbs31:28 Posted April 22, 2008 Report Share Posted April 22, 2008 I have 2 main diagnoses: major depressive disorder and general anxiety disorder. It began with a diagnosis of post-partum depression after my second child in 2001. I recovered from that (or so I thought) and managed to become very successful in my career, with a good income, 2 great kids and a miserable marriage. In 2004, I began having symptoms of anxiety but my doc kept telling me it was depression and put me back on anti-Ds. I got worse. Long story short, I OD'ed on the anti-Ds. I was rushed to the hospital and, after a day in the hospital was admitted to an inpatient mental unit. I was appalled at where I had ended up and worked hard to get better, get home and get back to work. 9 days later I convinced everyone I was fine and had just made a mistake. I wend back to work, full force, and faced all of the other issues. 2 months later, I OD'ed again. This time, I could not convince them I was fine and finally I got a p doc who listened to me and diagnosed me with severe anxiety which had spiraled into a major depressive episode. After intensive therapy, I left my husband, went back to my high paying job and moved my kids to a new house to start our lives over. Everything was great for about 6 months. Then, another major depressive episode and back to the hospital I went. I have been hospitalized 4 times for major depression. I am on Zoloft, Xanax and Trazadone but have tried many other meds. Every day is a struggle for me. Most days, I do not leave my house unless necessary. I drop my kids off at school (too much anxiety to let them ride the bus) and then go home, close all the doors and windows and hide from the world until it is time to go get them again.I hate my life. I feel trapped. I am no longer working and barely surviving on SS benefits instead of my nice income. My kids are the only sunshine in my life. When they visit their dad's every other weekend, I spend the entire time fighting the urge to swallow a bottle of pills. I ocassionally cut and ocassionally purge but mainly out of self-disgust, not part of any bigger diagnosis. I found this site after taking a depression quiz which said I was suffering "major depression." I was not surprised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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