texasgirl Posted May 10, 2009 Report Share Posted May 10, 2009 Things are so much worse since I have been gone from here. I'm sinking lower and lower, between the recent suicide in my famliy and the new memories of sexual abuse when I was a kid it has just pushed me over the edge. I can not take anymore, I have NO ONE to talk to........ finding my way 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamiecake2 Posted May 10, 2009 Report Share Posted May 10, 2009 If you ever need to talk, just send me a private message. My father commited suicide in 1994 and it's something you can never forget. It's with you everyday. I'm here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaudio Posted May 10, 2009 Report Share Posted May 10, 2009 Hi texasgirl, it is good to see you again. If you like, please feel free to talk things through with us. You are not alone, and the members here are very supportive. Have you found a therapist to talk to about these issues? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasgirl Posted May 10, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 10, 2009 My therapist has has let me go, "He can't do anything else for me". He is the ONLY ONE I could find to go to.My grandma killed herself in front of me when I was 7 years old, found out about a month ago my nephew hung himself. Different memories have surfaced dealing with the sexual abuse, I only get bits and pieces of things. I haven't put it all together yet, I'm afraid it involves a third individual who did some very very sick twisted demented things to me as a child.The violent nightmares have begun again, the sleep walking, the screaming, the clawing my arms to shreds I'm sure is next. I WILL NOT START CLAWING AGAIN ! I WILL NOT ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaudio Posted May 10, 2009 Report Share Posted May 10, 2009 My condolences, texasgirl. It must have been difficult to learn of the circumstances of your nephew's death. Also, have you been getting enough sleep despite these nightmares? Even if you do not have a therapist I think it would be worthwhile to see a doctor about your sleep walking and sleeping problems. Should you start to SI, your doctor may be able to give some advice or direction to seek out the appropriate help you need.Until you can find another therapist, perhaps you can write about these different memories dealing with sexual abuse for your own reference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted May 10, 2009 Report Share Posted May 10, 2009 texasgirl, I agree, you have had WAY too much to deal with:mad::eek:. You are NOT hopeless though! You are still alive. You can still breathe and move and you can still experience good things. I am so sorry all this happened to you:(. You still have us. Please take all this slowly. Know your limits. You need very special care right now. There has got to be a way to manage the intensity of this so you can heal. Too much intensity will push you where you don't want to go. Is there a way to pace this? We are here for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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