follow up for "help"

[worrieddd]

hi everyone

sorry i keep posting new threads. the previous ones get old after a while, and i want to make it as clear a possible.

i havent posted in awhile, and nowadays i am feeling like a brainless thug. i have trouble comprehending the simplest instructions and concepts, and often i have to go over them again in my head to get the full meaning.

i cant pay attention to a movie (i only watched one in 3 weeks) because i feel like i cant follow the plot fast ebough, even if its relatively simple. even simple tv adds and trailers are getting me. i just dont no if i cna start high school in teh fall like this.

i have been trying to eat more veggies, and get mroe sleep like ive been told, but it doesent seem to be doing anything. ive just been feeling very bored.

also, my parents say they dont have money to get me a therapist or psycologist at the moment, so thats nto somthing i could do right now either.

i just cant seem to make them understand how desperate i am, becasue i seem fine on teh outside, and usually am fairly calm, but this is always tugging at me, wherever i go.

thanks for all your help and patience. if im driving everyone crazy just tell me and i stop:o

[finding my way]

Hey, you aren't driving us nuts! High anxiety makes thinking and concentrating very difficult, worrieddd. Can you take some time to try out some techniques to reduce your anxiety? What have you tried so far?

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Worrieddd,

Despite what your parents say, there could be help out there for you at not for profit mental health agencies and at out patient clinics that are part of hospitals. You should really make some inquiries. Your parents may be thinking of high cost psychiatrists and that is not true. Also, if they have health insurance, that would pay for some therapy.

Also, take a look at our self help section, here, at the web site and you will find about some things you can do to help your self.

You are not boring us and I started to wonder what had become of you. Stay with us and use us for help.

Do not worry about concentration. Most certainly go back to High School this coming fall.

Also, get some exercise. Someone young like you should be running and/or bicycling, swimming and such. You would be surprised how exercise helps mood and concentration.

Allan

[worrieddd]

ive been reading this book on my school summer reading list and its been going fine, but i just feel like there are some emotions and concepts i used to grasp but not anymore. strange.

i act fine around my parents, becasue i normally feel fine. its not a constant panic. its only when i am confronted with a common thing that i cant understand even though i should i get worried. worried not extremely anxious.

thats wh my parents and even my doctor find it silly to spend money for help.

and i myself am not sure that when it comes down to it its jsut a minor anxiety issue tahts all in my head.

thanks for the advice:)

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Worrieddd,

I suspect that you are not "coming clean" with your Doctor about just how bad things get to feel. I believe you need to let him know just how bad it gets for you and then he will refer you for help.

Allan

[kaudio]

Hi worrieddd, I am sorry to hear that you are feeling so anxious, but Allan makes a great point that you still have therapy options despite your parents concerns about financing. There are counseling hotlines intended for people your age, and, if available, you can call 211 to inquire about services available for you in the community.

By the way, out of curiousity, what is this school summer reading list you speak of? Is this homework that is issued for the summer holidays?

I would not be concerned about grasping emotions. In my case, at your age, I read books rather voraciously, but I did not understand everything as the breadth of my experience was such that I could not accommodate the use of certain words. For example, honour, dignity, freedom, wisdom, love, guilt, fortune, respect, vice what do these words mean exactly? How are they experienced? To this day, I am no longer troubled with the meanings of these words as I have accepted that it is likely very difficult to truly understand them absolutely. Thus, I am no wiser to the meanings of certain words then as now.

Certainly, I can refer to other matters that I have read to reference the use of other words, but to grasp the absolute meaning of words is probably difficult as even the dictionary uses ever more words to give meaning to other words. Would it not be easier on you to simply accept the gist of things?

[worrieddd]

i was required to read this book called "the book thief" and one other book. im not sure whether its considered a difficult book but i guess im understanding it fine. its more like the meaning of abstract language and stuff like that.

sometimes i simply forget what exactly it was that i am having trouble with.

and sometimes i experience a concept and i just get that feeling of not getting something. for example i will ponder an action in a book or movie: "what was the reason for doing that, what will be teh outcome, why this why that," and i literally will know the answer, but still get that feeling of my brain being tied in a knot when im trying to figure something really complicated out, even though what im analyzing is really not that complicated. and this feeling of getting tied up on a simple thing makes me feel like im a total retard.:confused: that what bugs me. sorry if that was confusing, but thats my best explanation.

[kaudio]

I see, frustration is natural though. Many thinkers suggest that people should remain humble in order to properly learn of the world around them and themselves. When one approaches something he considers simple, but later is surprised as the thing is not simple, the intelligence of this person should not be questioned. Instead, to approach anything with similar ego is the problem.

Stay humble, do not expect that you and others should 'get' things right away, and be prepared to view and review anything to catch subtle points and assumptions. Humility is a highly promoted character trait, but to be humble offers advantages unmatched.

Summer homework sucks Of course, if you enjoy reading, then these assignments will probably be a breeze. English classes were a mixed bag for me as I either loved a story a great deal or did not understand the moral or main point at all.

[worrieddd]

well im happy becasue my old teacher used to make us do 2 math lessons and 2 short essays every week last summer. THAT sucked. reading 2 books is easy going:D

thing is i used to be able to understand some of those things, and not get all tied up. i also used to have a panic attack when i thought something was wrong that sent me moping around for weeks until teh doctor eased me back up. i dont get as anxious as i used to but whne i get to thinking about why im am acting so dumb, it makes me worry adn i come posting in thsi site.

what do you mean by humble though?

[kaudio]

I see, in that case you are quite the diligent student to continue your learning program through the summer.

Humility refers to many things, but, when I suggest to you to try staying humble, I am trying to tell you not to approach things with the notion that you should 'get' or understand them immediately as you are exposed to them. If you are assigned homework, be prepared to review it until you understand the contents as opposed to expecting yourself to 'get it' right away and becoming worried when this does not happen. This same approach applies to situations where you may have understood some things, but now find that you get tied up. Essentially, I am suggesting that you approach everything with the expectation that you will get tied up.

That is not to say that I want you to think 'negatively'. Rather, when you expect that you may get tied up in a problem, assignment, or project, you plan more carefully in advance by alloting more time to allow you to digest the problem in your mind, to think of new ways to approach the problem in order to solve it effectively, etc. When you approach a problem with the expectation that you should 'just get it', you can easily become frustrated when you do not get it. Your frustration and panic only exacerbates the situation as you cannot digest ideas as readily in such a state of mind.

Eastern thinkers tell people to stay humble - to be low and small - so that they can appreciate and observe what goes on around them. The opposite, to be tall and large, opens up the possibility that you will miss what is going on around you, and that you may fall and really hurt yourself. Thus, to begin a project while acknowledging that there may be failures and mistakes made, and to anticipate them in your planning, is a display of humility and of being low and small. On the other hand, to begin a project expecting to perfectly complete it without error, and neglecting any sort of plan for contingencies, is a display of being tall and large.

Edited July 6, 2009 by kaudio