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I found hope!


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Hey everyone!

I bet you do not remember me, it has been close to a year since my last post (I think) and my diagnosis PTSD, Panic Disorder, Major Depression and OCD.

I would like to say thanks to anyone who might remember me and replied to my original post "what can this be." Every response I received showed me that people do care and I am not alone.

I have been on the same medication increasingly going up on the doses, my doc is going to change it if I am not where he wants me to be when I return to his office (which do not think I am). I feel way better, I still have my ups and down, nothing like before. All my episodes I get are very fracional in size compared to what they were. When I am down I try to grab onto the hope that got me out of my lowest of lows.

I have read some posts on here, it breaks my heart to know that some of you guys are in the spot I was a year ago. I am not saying there is a cure all out there by any means at all, but rest assure there is hope! Please, continue to follow this board on your lows and when you need someone to be there. I found people here for me and in my opinion this is the most understanding and caring board out there.

Also, If you have not been to a professional I strongly urge you to seek one out. If you are uncomfortable with who you find and feel you can not be you please, keep searching for one that you trust.

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Hi mrsdz

I only joined this site a couple of months ago, but im sure there will be other members that will remember you.

Just wanted to say hi realy and well done on getting the treatment to help you feel better, I know how hard it is living with PTSD and unfortunatley it wont just go away overnight, ive had it for 16 years now.

Im pleased your feeling better these days

Take care


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Hello, Thanks for the response. I doubt the ptsd ever goes away but it has minimized dramatically for me to the point I can cope with the PTSD.

I just read your orginal post. I am sorry for what you are going through. I too am in my 30s and have 3 kids. It is a very scarey feeling that your kids will figure out just how bad it is for you. I am sure they have seen signs, since my kids are younger and have seen the huge fall in me, then the slow rise I am currently making. What is important is how you handle it in their eyes, I think that is how you might feel since that is the way I feel.

I am not exactly sure on your situation. Being in refuges with your childeren to better all of your futures is much better for them than being in a house with DV. I applaud your strength in getting away with your kids.

I seen you asked about coping. Of course you should seek a professional one you trust. I do different things when my mind starts the crazy racing. I have been doing puzzles, a fine way for me to exercise my mind. I have been reading alot more, another way to keep my mind occupied, when I know I am overthinking. I do many other things too, a day of shopping with the kids, movie nights (at home). The kids and I take turns reading books. There are many ways you can spend the time when you are mentally breaking yourself apart. It works well for me.

I hope it all gets better for you and your kids.

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hey mrsdz

Wow my first thread seems a lifetime ago know. So much has changed, not neccesarily for the better.

I am currently in hospital, and have been since july, apart from a few days when i had to be readmitted under section.

My children no longer live with me, even when i get out of hospital i cant get them back, and that kills. Im not givijg in though, i will keep fighting my illness and the legal systems untill my family is back together again.

I cant believe how much has happened in such a short period of time, and a big part of me dearly wishes id never gone to the doctors in the first place, coz then at least id still have my family.

However i know in reality that i had no option, i had to do what was right for my children, coz thats what moms do, even though now ,yes im still bresthing, but im no longer a mom, and thet leaves me dead inside.

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I am sooooo sorry. I can not even begin to imagine the pain you are feeling right now. I feel deeply for you. You sound like you care deeply for your kids. You are doing the right thing, get yourself better so you can care for them the way you want to.

Reading your reply brought tears to my eyes. From you being in DV and now this. I'm willing to bet you are thinking when will this end? It has to get better for you.

My MIL is divorced due to DV or in the process of it. Her ex is putting her through the ringer trying to say she is not mentally fit for their underaged son. Something I have noticed with her is after being abused for so many years she tends to believe all the negative her ex has said about her. It simply is not true. That is a big part of why I have not been on the boards in the past year, she has been with us. I am devoted in helping her find the real her again after being through what she has.

I will be here for you whenever you want to talk. Keep up the strength, you have a battle ahead of you, one I am sure you will win.

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Hey there,

Thankyou for your kind words, they mean a lot too me, your right i do feel like its never going to end, and often its a struggle just to see the day through , I am still longing for the fairy tale ending, where we can be a family again and my illlness magicaly dissapears. but this is real life and no one has that all important magic wand. I just have to work my way through it the best i can.

I can relate to how your MIL is feeling, when someone treats you bad and forever critisizes and puts you down constantly and for long enough you start to believe them.

How can you not ? Once its been programmed into you over a periiod of time , it feels imposible to break the cycle.

I think your wonderful for devoting your help time and love into MIL , She is going to need all the help and support she can get to help her stay on the road to recovery , but im sure that with your help, her recovery will be that little bit easier.

Thanx mrsdz

Take care


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