Critical and Negative Me

[movingforward]

I feel like it's so hard for me to see the positive and sometimes even love myself.

My inner voices tell me that I am worthless, a waste of life and space, pathetic, stupid, don't deserve to live, and a nobody and a nothing. I have these deeply ingrained negative affirmations about myself that is really killing me inside and outside. Even though, I have accomplished things such as finish college and attain a masters, I can only focus on the negative. Why am I beating myself up? Sometimes, I feel that it is easier to die because I can escape these thoughts and I don't have to feel so miserable again. But, I know this is not the answer. However, right now I'm not sure what to do.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Movingforward,

Let me ask you a question to think about and I would like to see your answer, if that is ok with you? Here is my question:

My inner voices tell me that I am worthless, a waste of life and space, pathetic, stupid, don't deserve to live.....

Whose voice is that or whose voices are that from your childhood as far back as you can remember???

Allan

[movingforward]

Perhaps the voices are from me, the childhood bullies from the past, also the voices from my family

Hi Movingforward,

Let me ask you a question to think about and I would like to see your answer, if that is ok with you? Here is my question:

Whose voice is that or whose voices are that from your childhood as far back as you can remember???

Allan

[malign]

So, the next question, if I may preempt Allan:

What makes you believe them?

[movingforward]

Good question...Thinking that since other people believed it, it is true. (this was in the past), not getting advice and help to stick up for myself and for believing in myself when I was young, looking at my performance and how I feel i am not normal and don't measure with others

So, the next question, if I may preempt Allan:

What makes you believe them?

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Movingforward and Malign,

Hey, I am always preemptable.

Serioulsy, though, I am still not clear who these voices in your thinking belong to? Who said these things to you and when?

Allan

[JaneE]

Hi Movingforward!

I can totally relate to how you feel!!

My father used to tell me I was worthless and would never amount to anything.

I was a quiet, shy, passive child and I think he hoped I'd be braver, more active and outgoing or something.

I don't know how much this damaged me, I am reasonably intelligent, but I never managed to finish college, at least you have that! That is definitely something of value in this world and you should be proud of yourself!

Sometimes when I'm really depressed it helps me to write down a rant about how much I hate myself, how badly I feel about myself and all that. It's like getting the poison out somehow, it really works!

I try to be positive, but yes, I can be very critical and negative, it runs in my family, and it's hard for me to counter it. I wish I knew a cure, but all I can say is I understand how you feel and hang in there!