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The rest of the story


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I wanted to finish my story before I read any of your mail. After my husband had his surgery, there was a some change in his size, but after short period of time, the thoughts returned and so did the questions. I changed churches for his peace of mind. He stopped the silent treatments. I recognized that him being quiet wasn't all about me being relunctant to answer his questions it was because he was troubled, and depressed. Then he started having bad dreams about being humiliated about his size and being in a threesome and the other guy was bigger and the women found more pleasure in the bigger size. He told me that his dad use to tell him that he would never get a women and keep her that he was to small. Also my husband told me that he did have that experience with a threesome and it was just like his bad dream. I tried to answer his questions, some times he has relief. I prayed Lord please take his bad dreams away, please help his mind. What can I do Lord he is driving me crazy, I heard in the quietness of my heart " Love him." So I looked up Love in the Bible, 1st Corinthians 13, Its says alot, I focused on verse 4 it said Love is Patient and Kind. I am not able to Love like this, but I can do all things through Christ, who strenthens me. I v'e tried very hard to do what the Bible says, God's grace is sufficient for me. Well about 10 years ago my husband became a Christian and now we share the same faith which is so helpful. We eventually saw a Christian Counselor he said that my husband had the symptoms of obsessive compulsive disorder and possible post tramatic disorder. That the perscription prozac would help slow down the toughts and that he should try to replace his bad thougts with good thoughts and to not try to not think about it, that trying not to think about would make it worse. I told the counselor that I was afraid that my enjoying my husband changed size was reinforcing the bad dream, and I felt guilt, our counselor said as long as I was with my husband, I was not sinning, which is really important to me. Then other drugs were tried effector and zoloft. All of these drugs had side effects, either he couldn't have an orgasim or he could not become erect. and loose stools. So our counselor moved away, then we got a replacement and then that counselor, did not answer my calls for new appointments. We just gave up on the counceling. We had seen five different counselors all together. That was about 5 years ago. Since then our love and exceptance for each other has grown us closer together. Something else that helped his size too, he found that you can buy viagra and levita on the computor in Canada. This to has given him about 1/2 inch in length. I hope that some of the things that I mentioned, like the pump and the stretcher and surgery and levitra can help some of you guys. I hope that maybe somebody can help me, help my husband with his obsessive thoughts. I asked him to come to this forum, and to identify himself as my husband. I'm so happy that, we found you all. Thanks for listening.

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