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Daddy it's Christmas


lacyjay87
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I’m 22 years old. Christmas has always been hard for me. When I was 7 in 1994 my dad died on Christmas day. I love Christmas b/c it is Jesus B-day, but I hate to decorate for it and yada yada...I had a daughter a year ago (so yea that makes her one lol) this will be her second Christmas. Her first Christmas was nothing short of boring. This year she is more alert and aware of things. I don’t want to bring her down so I decorated and found that I enjoyed it. I feel like I should not have enjoyed it b/c my dad cannot enjoy it (I guess I’m not for sure why I feel that way). I bought all my Christmas gifts already and I am actually wishing for snow and I want to listen to Christmas songs. I feel like I’m supposed to be sad on Christmas and to be happy almost makes me feel sick.

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Anything ???

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christmas is all about kids :( (i dont do the religion thing sorry) and you know im sure your dad would want you to be having a fun exicting day with Jayden, not worrying that you shouldnt be feeling happy because he's not there...make it an exciting fun time for her, she wont have a clue whats going on lol but she'll have great fun, and you'll have a great memory :)

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hi lacy, it is so understandable why Christmas would be hard for you, why you wouldn't exactly be in a holiday mood. But I think your dad would want you to enjoy Christmas, for him. He would want you and your daughter to celebrate, not to be sad for him. That's just what I think.

thanks so much for your response!:(

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christmas is all about kids :( (i dont do the religion thing sorry) and you know im sure your dad would want you to be having a fun exicting day with Jayden, not worrying that you shouldnt be feeling happy because he's not there...make it an exciting fun time for her, she wont have a clue whats going on lol but she'll have great fun, and you'll have a great memory :)

I know alot of people do not do the religion thing...i know she wont remember this time, but as she grows up i dont want her to see mommy sad on christmas..I know i will make it a great day for her, but i just cant get over feeling sick for being excited...I know God will help me with this problem, but i do like hearing the advice of my readers and getting thier thoughts on the situation thanks again :)

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Lacy, my mother passed away around this time last year, so I can relate to how you feel.

Personally, I don't think your dad would want you to be sad for him at all, much less on Christmas. He'd want you to be able to enjoy the holidays and their meaning, for yourself and for your little one. It's not like you'd be forgetting him if you celebrated; it would just be a different way of remembering him. And the way you remember him will teach your daughter about what he was like, even though they never had a chance to meet.

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Lacy, my mother passed away around this time last year, so I can relate to how you feel.

Personally, I don't think your dad would want you to be sad for him at all, much less on Christmas. He'd want you to be able to enjoy the holidays and their meaning, for yourself and for your little one. It's not like you'd be forgetting him if you celebrated; it would just be a different way of remembering him. And the way you remember him will teach your daughter about what he was like, even though they never had a chance to meet.

This one made me cry. I think your right it would be a diffrent way of remembering him.

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Guest GingerSnap

Lacy: For those who do the "religion thing", we know that those that have passed are still with us in spirit. Your dad lives on in your heart and the heart of your daughter and will be smiling down on you - do you think he would want to be looking down from heaven and see you sitting there sad and not be able to reach down and put his arms around you and tell you that he loves you and wants you to have joy and share joy with others just as he did - now you know that is what he would do if he could.

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This probably doesnt help any sorry but maybe it's worth mentionng.

My ex-husbands cousins died at the age of 19 on xmas day - she had a seizure in the bath and drowned - so obviously xmas day is a very hard time for her parents, the first cpl of xmases afterwards were very difficult,but they decided to choose to remember the day as a way to celebrate her and her life, now as well as it being a difficult memorable day it is also a good day for them because they remember all the good happy things and they talk about her look at pics etc and carry on the day as they would have as if she were still there AND :D its xmas day and they have excited children around,the dinner to cook ..all the usual festivities..and they and the rest of their family enjoy it!

maybe it's worth thinking of it as a time to celebrate rather than grieve? ..i hope that isnt offensive or hurtful,it wasnt intended to be.

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This probably doesnt help any sorry but maybe it's worth mentionng.

My ex-husbands cousins died at the age of 19 on xmas day - she had a seizure in the bath and drowned - so obviously xmas day is a very hard time for her parents, the first cpl of xmases afterwards were very difficult,but they decided to choose to remember the day as a way to celebrate her and her life, now as well as it being a difficult memorable day it is also a good day for them because they remember all the good happy things and they talk about her look at pics etc and carry on the day as they would have as if she were still there AND :D its xmas day and they have excited children around,the dinner to cook ..all the usual festivities..and they and the rest of their family enjoy it!

maybe it's worth thinking of it as a time to celebrate rather than grieve? ..i hope that isnt offensive or hurtful,it wasnt intended to be.

Im sorry to hear that, but thank you for sharing...sometimes when your griveng you tend get selfish and think that your the only on ein the world that this happens too, it is healthy to be reminded that others are just as upset as you and some pople even have it worse. I think this year i will try to make is memorial for him! :)

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