Am I BiPolar?

[Missy80]

Hi guys,

I'm looking for some information about bipolar disorder. I'm not sure if I have it but I've been suffering for a long time and haven't been properly diagnosed.

My first and most troubling symptom is the feeling of depersonalization, of feeling separate from myself. Not only that, I feel this huge desire to get away from myself and not be myself, if that makes any sense. My voice sounds weird to me and I don't even like to look in the mirror. I can't stop thinking that there's something wrong with me, that I'm abnormal, that I'm different from everyone else. I have obsessive thoughts about this to the point where I cannot go out of the house or do anything. I get into these states where I cry hysterically for no reason and feel that there is no hope. I will sleep for 18 hours at a time. Then, after about two days, I will suddenly feel a bit better. I will go out with a friend and have a decent time, and maybe feel optimistic for two days or so (although the thoughts about myself are still there). Then, the cycle repeats and I start oversleeping and crash again.

I don't really have any manic episodes, but could this be a form of bipolar?

[David O]

Good morning Missy80,

Welcome to the family where you should have an easy time finding compassion, sensitivity, understanding and a bit of wisdom and wit along the way. One thing we avoid here is offering diagnostic labels, it's hard enough doing it in person, much via the web. If you're concerned, my suggestion is to see a competent psychologist or psychiatrist where you can get both an accurate diagnosis and treatment.

As an aside, following are a few sites that may help you see it more clearly:

http://health.yahoo.com/mentalhealth-symptoms/bipolar-disorder-symptoms/healthwise--ty1058.html

http://bipolar.about.com/od/diagnosissymptoms/a/symptoms.htm

http://www.seroquelxr.com/bipolar-disorder-symptoms.aspx?source=838&utm_source=yahoo&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=bipolar+symptom&utm_content=unbrandxrdtc&utm_campaign=SQLJUN09&WT.mc_id=SQL0209YAHPSDTCU

Good luck and I hope this helps. In the meantime, feel free to look around, answer some questions for others and contribute where you can. Can you tell us a little more about yourself?

David

[Missy80]

Thanks for writing back. Here's a little background about me.

I'm 29 years old and began, approximately one year ago, to suffer a major depression and anxiety after I broke up with my b of three years. After several months of extreme lows and high anxiety, I began to experience the feeling of 'depersonalization', feeling disconnected from myself.

I was hopsitalized in February and put on Effexor and Risperidone. These meds seemed to work well initially, and when I was discharged from hospital, I felt like a new person, totally energetic and focused.

When I returned to work in April, however, things got bad again. The panic, obsessive thoughts, depersonalization and depression all came back. I have been struggling with these terrible lows in which I feel like I can't get out of bed and I want so desparately to get away from myself, on and off since then. I have had a bout three or four weeks in total where I have felt good, strong, confident and back to my old self. I have since been treated with Prozac and Seroquel, but nothing seems to be working.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Missy80,

Welcome to our community.

Do you know what diagnosis you were given in the hospital? Did they refer you for outpatient psychotherapy?

It seems to me that the hospital psychiatrists gave you a diagnosis of Major Depression. Of course, breaking up with your boyfriend is just the type of event that can trigger the out break of depression but, clearly, this was much more than grief. This was the start of major symptoms that do not go away.

Here is what I suggest for you and in my opinion:

1. Stick with us here and tell us all about yourself. Why? Because here you will get lots of warm support and that helps a lot.

2. Get yourself into psychotherapy. You can find do an Internet search for psychologists and licensed clinical social workers in your area of the world.

3. I do not know if you continue to take your medicines but you probably need to. However, that should be done under the guidance of your family doctor or, preferably, under a psychiatrist.

Did the hospital refer you to a psychiatrist or psychotherapy clinic when you were discharged? They were supposed to.

Please tell us more.

Allan