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Thinking about other girls but in love


scaredconfused
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First, I'd like to apologize for the long post.

I am currently in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend who I love. My problem is that I feel guilty for thinking about other girls around me. Like, my mind sexualizes almost every attractive female around me and sometimes I wonder what a relationship with this or that girl would be like. I don't hide anything from my girlfriend and I have told her this but it hurt her feelings. I don't think of any other girls when she's around. I just want to know, is this normal or is it bad? How can I change this? I love her so much, I'd never act on my thoughts but I just don't want to make her feel bad. Is this the kind of thing that guys just hide or something?

About me, I'm taking meds for anxiety, depression and OCD. I have problems with my mind guilting me into think everything I think or do is wrong and that I am a bad person.

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Haha, thanks JP. I know, I'm trying to figure out how to reassure her now. We both have self esteem issues. We're having issues with me not enjoying sex and she thinks it's her fault in some way and she ends up thinking she's not atractive and other things. I tell her she's pretty, sexy, smart and other things but she just gets down on herself

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Well, my girlfriend is my first partner, I was a virgin before her. My penis just doesn't feel as good during sex as it does when I masturbate. I just get bored because I keep going and going then I go flacid. I enjoy foreplay but sex just isn't all that enjoyable. With the long distance and all, I probally mastubate too much or I just get nervous I guess. Either that or my penis is not sensitive enough.

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi ScaredandConfused,

First of all I am sure that your penis "is sensitive enough." When a man loses interest in sex with a partner in the way you described with your girl friend, it can mean several things that you need to ask yourself:

1. Our emotions affect our sexual relations. How are you feeling about this girl? Does she still interest you or has she become boring as a person?

2. Are you angry at her for some reason?

3. Are you more interested in other girls? At your age, why not? Maybe you are ready to move on and are curious about other girls.

4. I do not know how much you masturbate but, masturbating a lot can cause you to feel less sexual desire if you have masturbated the same day before having sex with her.

5. Does she do all the things you might want her to do? Does she do oral sex, other kinds? Does she feel good to you during sex and afterwards? Do you still like her?

These are intimate questions but questions you need to look at for yourself.

Allan

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@ ASchwartz

1. Still interested in her, I love spending time with her, videogames, watching movies, eating, walks, everything is fun with her.

2. Not angry at her.

3.I fantasize about girls that I see in the same way that I do with the ones in porn. I'm not interested in a relationship with anyone else.

4. I don't masturbate around her.

5. She'll try and has tried many things for me. I love cuddling with her after sex and napping with her and I still like her.

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi,

I agree with JamesDean that its your depression and anxiety that are interfering with your interest in having sex with your girl friend. I also wonder why you masturbabe without her instead of with her? What are you keeping secret? Finally, what about keeping away from Internet porn? It really does nothing good for anyone.

Allan

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