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why cant i move on yet?


roamer2
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its been a few months since the break up and i am still thinking and feeling things very powerfully. i havent had this much trouble in letting go so why now? its been to long and im very miserable over her. she treated me badly in the end. very badly. is it the connection we had? it was the strongest i had ever even heard of completely unbelievable. could that be the problem? why can i remember every detail about her? right down to the way her kiss tastes. what could possibly ingrain someone so deeply like this. i dont like it dont want it or her. i dont want anything to do with her. yet i miss her every day and night. its not like i havent been threw this before a few times. so what could possibly make this one so different? im at a total loss about this. any help would be greatly appreciated.

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Hi roamer, to me it sounds like, as you say, a real deep connection. Since the connection was deeper it is harder to get over. Even though in the end it went bad, what you had with her was real. My guess is you miss having that level of connection with another human. It's a hard thing to move on from. Dumb and cliche as it sounds, I think it just takes time. I know it's been three months but for some reason I think that's not enough time. Just try to keep moving forward, and it will fade more each day.

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Roamer and Smallstar,

Roamer, I agree with Smallstar. It takes time to recover from a relationship and the more intense and difficult it was the more difficult it can be to get over. Its sort of like a death, time is needed to mourn. Be patient with yourself and you will start to recover and feel better.

Are there any things you are doing to give yourself some pleasure or enjoyment?

Allan

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hey bud, hang in there i know the exact feeling im just i think im starting to FINALLY:p get over my X however it has been painful it is difficult and all that jazz, but 1 thing i can say is keep you're self as busy as possible get more hrs at work find a new hobby hang out with friends as often as possible find that 1 friend you can tell everything and spend time out in the world don't sit around and watch:eek:. Go and do things don't let it ruin you i learned that if i do things and make sure to enjoy myself i will not think of her only when im alone do i ever think about her so keep you're self busy guy and pm me if u wanna talk to someone.:)

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I think you need to give yourself time as well. It has been 14 months for me and I'm still struggling - probably because we spent some nice time together in August and that got me going again :(. We had been together 15 years. I'm really struggling with the emotional detachment, I find myself obsessing over him even though I don't want to go back. I am just trusting that it will take time, that filling the void is not an easy thing and it cannot be filled by just anyone.

I think that the more intense your relationship was (good or bad) the more time it takes to get over it. Even if you've lived this before, it is always difficult.

Do things that you enjoy doing, reconnect with people, find new activities. Keeping busy does help take our mind off the other person....

Good luck!

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