I Have Violent Angry Urges

[TheMan]

Should I Talk To My Doctor?

I was bullied a lot through grade school, and even some of college (and even teased by people that most consider to be nice), I have a few friends, but am really socially anxious, and while I really try to trust people, something inside of me disagrees. I talked to my doctor last week, an he asked if I have been depressed lately, and the trith is, I haven't, but I haven't been around anyone lately due to Christmas break, except on New Years Eve at a friends party, but I was drink, and I'm usually a bit more sociall and care free when drinking. Anyways, I noticed that in addition to my anxiety every now and then, this extreem anger will seem to come out of nowhere, and I might be angry all day. At no one person, but at everyone. I'll have really violent feeling (I never carry them out), and will usually try to keep to myself during those days. If I'm at school, I'll usually just go to class, and then try to leave asap. I will avoid anyone that I know will try to talk to me....A day later I'll come back down to earth, and will be okay, and will seemingly be over with. But sooner or later, I'll feel this extreem anger and hate inside of me burning at my heart that wants to see everything feel how I feel. I wouldn't carrry this out, but i usually feel guilty about these feelings, so I don't talk about them with people I know out of fear as being labelled insane, or unsafe. Sometimes my violent daydreams will not only include random people, but I'll often have suicide daydreams too, even though I'm too much of a chicken to kill myself. Like I said though...these feelings usually only last for a few hours to a day at most, and I usually am anxious, but usually don't feel violently angry...I don't know why I feel like this, because most of the people that a feel angry at didn't really do anything...

[LostSouls]

well coming here is a start and talking to us about your problems, seeing as how your angry at people who really havent done much of anything to make you angry leads me to believe you have misguided anger, i would think anyways keyword is 'think' you should try to figure out where your anger is coming from and who or what your really angry at and coming to terms with your anger in a logical/reasonable way, and by no means in a violent way, if your having issues with someone just sit down and talk to em and if for whatever reason thats just not you or your not comfortable doing that just come and discuss your source of your anger with me or anyone else here, talking out your problems always help may not always solve em but it always helps and usually alot, and for feeling suicidal sometimes i would talk to a professional about that, im glad to know you dont feel like you could ever do it because you shouldnt feel that way and should never do it, everyone has trials and tribulations they must overcome in life some just seem harder than others its just figuring out how to deal &/or live with them and solving and overcoming them...i've felt that way before and still do sometimes but i never let it get to me really you know what i mean, i just know i'll overcome it because i have before and i know its just that i gotta figure out how to overcome it, and here i sit today happy that i can help you....anyways if you ever wanna talk about anything else just let me know.........i just realized you do know the source of your anger sorry my memory is not that great at all, but im sorry to here you was bullied in school, but since youve realized the source of your anger your half way to overcoming it, you just have to come to terms with it you know, me personally id just like to think you that, while sadly is just how some kids are you know, and while they was bullying you and it made you feel bad just kinda try to think you know that they was acting out for some reason to and they had misguided anger(could be one reason) maybe at home i dont know and they didnt realize it so i guess one thing i kinda wanna say is dont become like them you know, because your better than them no matter what you think because you realized your problem before acting out on it so in my mind anyways that makes you better and smarter than them, and i know you'll figure things out....anyways i hope i helped you in some sort of way come to terms with your anger and inspired you in one way or another.

Edited January 14, 2010 by LostSouls

[Resolute]

first let me just say that i don't see having offspring as a privilege but rather a curse, at least to the offspring.

I cannot help but think that had I had a different experience growing up, things would not be like this. And the reason I think this is because I simply do not see the world the way the rest of "civilized" humanity professes to see it. I don't have their patience, their "tolerance", or their ability for hyprocritical self-denial. I also don't have their ability to compulsively lie about everything.

i tend to agree with this except for the lying part; i think most people are simply stupid ignorant simpletons who actually believe most of the crap that's peddled to them. sheeple generally believe everything that is considered to be the norm.

[Guest ChinaDoll]

i tend to agree with this except for the lying part; i think most people are simply stupid ignorant simpletons who actually believe most of the crap that's peddled to them. sheeple generally believe everything that is considered to be the norm.

Wow. I actually feel the same way. But I'm not angry though. I just think they're idiots.