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Guyfriends only get in the way...


Alxias
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I've held this problem before.

Over and over.

I mean I try and ignore it, but it's complicated.

My boyfriend has this friend.

To put it bluntly, his friend had a crush on me, but I didn't ever feel that way about him. This I'll say 'jealousy*' has been going on for the major part of my boyfriend and I's realtionship ((Around 5 years)).

Everytime I'm around him, wether in real life or over a game chat, I try and keep in the conversation, because I know I want to respect my boyfriend's best friend, but it's hard when all he gives me in return is trashy remarks.

I'm tired of taking his shit, but I don't want to make my boyfriend angry with me. I know their friendship means alot.. :/

Help?

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Hi Alxias

My thought from this post is basically this: If your boyfriend realizes and sees how his "friend" is disrespecting you then why do you feel you need to stay with a guy who doesn't show you respect by correcting the situation?

Also if he sees this is a problem and isn't man enough to stand up for you then why are the 3 of you's together. Can't he find his own time with his friend seperate from couples time without making you be subjected to the friend????

Put yourself and your needs first before anyone elses ;)

Hope this helps ? :)

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Hi Alxias, welcome to the site ;)

Does your boyfriend know what's going on? maybe you could try to explain that you're not comfortable with his friend? Do you spend time together without his friend around?

I can understand you dont want to cause any arguments or problems and perhaps there is a tactful way of telling him what's going on (im not very tactful so i dont have any ideas how to do that sorry) but honesty really is the best policy, and if he knows his friend at all and knows you then if you tell him what's been happening he should have some understanding and then he can act from there...maybe his friend is a little bit worried that you are going to 'take him away'?

There's really not much point in ignoring the situation if you do chances are it will just get worse or blow up at some point it definately wont just go away, imho there's only one person who can really resolve this problem and that's your b/f, take a deep breath tell him how you feel and exactly what the situation is.

try to remember that sometimes people feel threatened and do silly things without thinking them through, obviouslyi dont know the full facts but maybe your b/f's friend is actually quite a nice guy...*shrugs* you never know.

I hope it all works out for you :)

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Guest Star9DeAtH9wIsH
I've held this problem before.

Over and over.

I mean I try and ignore it, but it's complicated.

My boyfriend has this friend.

To put it bluntly, his friend had a crush on me, but I didn't ever feel that way about him. This I'll say 'jealousy*' has been going on for the major part of my boyfriend and I's realtionship ((Around 5 years)).

Everytime I'm around him, wether in real life or over a game chat, I try and keep in the conversation, because I know I want to respect my boyfriend's best friend, but it's hard when all he gives me in return is trashy remarks.

I'm tired of taking his shit, but I don't want to make my boyfriend angry with me. I know their friendship means alot.. :/

Help?

its ok happens a lot just tell one to back off a little make sure he doesn't get too cozy with you i havent really had any problem though till i met someone i like and have boyfriend so basically if you like him go for it just sort out your feelings and think about your future how you want it like who'd be better with babys or kids who'd be a better husband .e.t.c

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