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Worry after worry.


confusedboy16
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Hello guys'.

I've been on here for a little over a month now, being on this forum has really helped me, but, I'm still feeling depressed. Thing is, I don't know what it is anyomore. I had worried about being a pedophile before, being a psycho. Now, I'm worried about being a serial killer/ child abuser. I have the urge to hurt small animals. Like, squeze them. Everytime I see a child ie, on the TV, I get scared and want to look away. I don't know what to do. I've been to see my doctor and he's booked an appointment with our local psychologist; but this takes time, I visited the doctors around 3 weeks ago, he said it would take around 3 weeks for the psychologist to reply, he hasn't, yet.

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Hi ConfusedBoy, sorry you're not feeling better? Hang in there, it may take a little time but you will have an opportunity to talk to someone soon...

I'm wondering if you have any ideas as to why you always see yourself in such an extreme light - serial killer, pedophile, etc. This is such a small proportion of people at an extreme end of the scale, I wonder how come you would imagine yourself that way, when your behaviours do not support this?

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Hi ConfusedBoy, sorry you're not feeling better? Hang in there, it may take a little time but you will have an opportunity to talk to someone soon...

I'm wondering if you have any ideas as to why you always see yourself in such an extreme light - serial killer, pedophile, etc. This is such a small proportion of people at an extreme end of the scale, I wonder how come you would imagine yourself that way, when your behaviours do not support this?

Morning Symora,

Thank you, I hate feeling like this - it 'sucks'. I'll try my best to, I suppose that's a good prospect - having someone to talk to soon. I think it's because I may have OCD and anxiety. See, I have acted on these urges, I've squeezed my cats before and hit the dog. When 'abusing' the animals I feel releived - only for a short period of time; and, I know this is wrong, but I can't stop it. I worry about this spiraling on to children and humans', which I DON'T want to happen. I've been told 'a psychopath doesn't worry about being a psychopath' but, I'm sure they do. I'm worried. I've posted so many threads on this site, but I still feel low.

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Hi confused boy,

Glad you have been here talking about it before it gets further --

When 'abusing' the animals I feel releived - only for a short period of time; and, I know this is wrong, but I can't stop it.

I'm wondering whether you have seen these types of actions in person? What relief do you get from "hurting" animals or anything? Call your doctor again. Sometimes you have to be persistent to get someone to listen. Sad, but true. Continue looking for help. Someone will listen and help you soon.

Where are your parents, when this is going on? Have you talked to them about it?

I do hope and pray that you talk with some one that can help you soon.

prayers going up for you,

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Hi ConfusedBody, When I was reading your post I thought that your behavious reminded me of people who cut themselves. It's like a release, it feels good for a little while and then it goes away, so you feel like you want to repeat it. Usually there are underlying issues, things inside that make us feel out of control and anxious, and we need to release the energy somehow. It comes out in all sorts of forms. For me it is calming the feeling with food... self-harming behaviour...

Do you have an appointment with someone or are still trying to book one? You still have lots of control with regards to this, so don't worry too much.... patience, that all important and oh so difficult virtue! Keep on posting, it is good for everyone and it helps relieve some of the anxiety I find.

Edited by Symora
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Hi ConfusedBody, When I was reading your post I thought that your behavious reminded me of people who cut themselves. It's like a release, it feels good for a little while and then it goes away, so you feel like you want to repeat it. Usually there are underlying issues, things inside that make us feel out of control and anxious, and we need to release the energy somehow. It comes out in all sorts of forms. For me it is calming the feeling with food... self-harming behaviour...

Do you have an appointment with someone or are still trying to book one? You still have lots of control with regards to this, so don't worry too much.... patience, that all important and oh so difficult virtue! Keep on posting, it is good for everyone and it helps relieve some of the anxiety I find.

Symora,

Thank you for your reply.

If you read my latest thread you might understand my issues a bit better. Yes, I have an appointment with a psychologist; however, I am still waiting for the NHS to get back to me. I don't think I do have control, I don't really know how I feel anymore.

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