What is the meaning of sexuality

[Hunter]

I am a victim of sexual abuse - molested by my brother at the age of 12, and repeatedly raped including anally.

My male therapist says he would feel better about me talking about my sexuality to a woman therapist.

what is the total meaning of sexuality.

Does he want to know if I am functioning sexually, becaus he knows that i am not.

Does he want to know if I am sexually active, because he knows that I am not.

He knows about the flashbacks of the rapes, of the several times I have attempted to have a sexual relationship.

He has told me to try and self pleasure myself, but again the visuals and flashbacks of the rapes come back, and he knows this.

what more is there to know.

In all honesty, i have no clue of what he means.

can someone please help me understand this.

thanks

[shye1]

Hey there, maybe he thinks a female therapist could relate to you, and you could relate to her, in a way that you and him can't. Not because he's not a good therapist, but because thats the way the sexes are. As a woman, she might be able to help you get in touch with your sexual woman self. No matter what we've been through, we've got to keep moving forward and maybe thats what he hopes will happen for you by this change. I remember seeing a woman therapist for a while and then decided myself to change over to a male therapist. I did it because I never had a strong connection with my father and thought it would be healthy to experience an emotional bond with a male in a safe and understanding place. And it was. A woman might give you a different dynamic like that too. Just my thoughts. I'm always pro-change. It's good to get shaken up a bit sometimes. I think of it like one of those little glass domes filled with water and "snow" pieces. You give it a good shake and the pieces land differently. Your life could be different too.

[IrmaJean]

Hunter, I think you should ask him. Tell him this is confusing to you and you want to know why he is referring you. I could throw a guess out there from what you've written that maybe he doesn't feel best qualified to help you with this, but this is only speculation. How do you feel about it? Would you rather that he helped you with this even if he isn't best suited? Think of what is more important to you and fully express your feelings to him about this. Tell him what you want and need. This is your therapy and you want to get the most out of it. It may not change his decision, but it should at least give you some more reassurance and peace about his decision in this.

As far as all of the questions you've listed here, again I would recommend asking him. Maybe you could write the questions down if you feel uncomfortable asking him verbally. Good luck, Hunter.