sadgreeneyes Posted March 26, 2010 Report Share Posted March 26, 2010 I know I get attracted to men whom I know are sexually aggressive. But only if I find them attractive in the first place. Well, that is not totally true, I have met up with a man I wasn´t that attractive too just because I know/have heard he is dangerous. And I nearly feel disappointed he didn´t act out a rape against me like I have heard he did to his ex wife. I did a read about hybristophilia and I find that I like the same as what they describe there. Does this mean that I am a person with hybristophilia? or is it masochism? And what causes this thinking? I come from abusive childhood.It feels like life gets bored if my boyfriend, husband or whatever didn´t have these aggressive traits:confused:I also try to recover from abusive relationships, but at same time I find myself wanting the excitement it brings with being with a dangerous man. Not a killer of course, but a sexual dangerous man. I get sexually aroused being with such a man. I wonder if there is something wrong with me?Untill yesterday I had never heard about hybristophilia and I could never understand why I want to recover ( which I want), but still want a sexual aggressive man. It didn´t make sense to me. It may not do even now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustTrying Posted March 26, 2010 Report Share Posted March 26, 2010 Didn't know what it was called.... but yep..... you sound like me. I like to be dominated ..... but I was told I was told I was into SM..... Sadistic something....JT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadgreeneyes Posted March 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2010 Yes, I did even more research and found it can also be rape fantasies, something that is called ravishment. But it says that the woman doesn´t want to be raped in real. Doesn´t seems like it is like that with me, but maybe I just don´t know 100% yet. I think like you now, that it is right to put it under SM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustTrying Posted March 26, 2010 Report Share Posted March 26, 2010 Well to be blunt... I like to be hurt and dominated.... some call it sick... I call it me..... But yes they tell me it is SM..... maybe that is what you are dealing with.... I have outgrown it now.... do not want to be hurt .... but use to be I COULD not get off unless I was in pain or being "raped" etc.... so maybe I know what you are talking about.... just wanted to let you know you are not alone....l JT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustTrying Posted March 26, 2010 Report Share Posted March 26, 2010 One further note.... it was also by my therapist thought that the reason I do this or did this was because I was hurt sexually as a child.... but what do therapists really know?????? JT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustTrying Posted March 26, 2010 Report Share Posted March 26, 2010 Most therapists are educated idiots..... they have not been there ... so how can they know anything???? Sorry Mark.... I think that of you too....., JT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadgreeneyes Posted March 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2010 I seems like it can be SM yes, I have been thinking about it before, but didn´t find anything exactly about rape fantasies. I know they say it´s not normal, sometimes I wonder if it really is a deeper cause to it. Abusive childhoods or other things.I like to be dominated, that the sexual acts are rough and forceful. I like the thought of being held as a hostage too. I even think I would like it in real as I still aren´t satisfied with the little excitement that has been, in real.I know there exist many SM´s out there, now I know this must be categorized as SM. I´m glad it´s not that uncommon as I thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadgreeneyes Posted March 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2010 That is true, therapists doesn´t know everything. It can be other causes. But I do think there is a cause, but don´t know what. I think it is individually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustTrying Posted March 26, 2010 Report Share Posted March 26, 2010 Oh... I could go on and go into detail... but I won't.... If you want to ... PM me and we can talk more bout this in private..... but like I said.... you are not alone.... I too use to have fantasies about being raped.... but who knows maybe I have just always been dominated.... like my " therapist" says.... who knows .... maybe you can learn stuff from a book or class.... I don't think so but maybe..... JT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calla Posted May 11, 2010 Report Share Posted May 11, 2010 Thank you for being open enough to talk about this. Because it's something I am struggling with too. I can't add much insight into it. Because I don't really understand it. But it does help to know I'm not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ASchwartz Posted May 12, 2010 Report Share Posted May 12, 2010 Justtrying,Why such a hostile attitude towards therapists?Allan:( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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