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I need serious help

D Dub

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I can't stop thinking of suicide. I think about it so much it is invading my dreams now. Maybe one day I'll grow a pair and finally end it. I can almost feel that day getting closer. I know no one cares but this is the only way I can seem to express myself anymore. I need serious help.

suicide is suicide

and it only means one thing

black roses, white limozines

and it never will be the same

death has filled my mind and there's only

one way to go

sleeping pills and razor blades

I hope you will enjoy the show!

- D Dub

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Hi D Dub,

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad right now. I understand the desperation to find relief from pain but suicide is a permenant answer to a temporary condition. You have mentioned in other posts that your depression is hard for you to deal with. Are you seeing a therapist? are you on meds? Do you have any ways to distract yourself and get through the suicidal feelings?

If you feel that suicide is imminent....go the nearest ER. They will care for you there. If that is too hard for you, call 911 and they will assist you.

Take care of yourself. You can get through this!! We are also here to listen and support you so lean on us as much as you need...

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D Dub -

You know, a friend said something to me once. I was desperate to kill myself during a severe depression a year and a half ago and I was afraid of myself, afraid I'd do it, nearly succeeded a long time ago. I phoned her and asked her please to come around (she too has made several attempts). So we were talking and I was crying and she said that for her, it wasn't that she wanted to die, it was that she just wanted the pain to stop and dying was the only way she could see to make that happen. And I realised that was true for me too, I just wanted to annihilate the pain, not die.

When you're suicidal you cannot see any other way and your mind tells you there is no other. But it is a lie. You can't see that it is a lie, it makes sense at that point, but it is a lie, your brain is playing tricks on you. There are still other ways to end the pain, (and do we really know that it ends when our bodies die?) there are possibilities even when you cannot see any. You need to take that on faith now and let someone else protect you so you don't act on what your completely overclouded brain is telling you. Your Self-Critic is in overdrive and needs to be subdued.

That dying is the only way, is a lie. Please believe me. And please keep talking to us?

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Guest ASchwartz

Hello DDub,

I agree with all the responses to you. We all care and we care very much. I agree that if you are feeling like you are going to harm yourself you should go the hospital emergency room near you and report that fact and they will help you. Things are never as bad as we think they are when we're depressed.

Allan :D

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