why am i doing this

[maddyC]

i just need a realease i don't see my psychologist for another week and well my eating disorder is running rampant. i just need to get it out of my system and stop letting it torcher me anymore. this whole week i have been bingeing badly, not as badly as some but the worst i've ever binged. i don't know if it really is a binge i am addicted to euphoria of purging and eat something just so i have something to throw up. i know that i can't continue like this for to long because at 17 my hearts starting to deteriate, i shouldn't be doing this. but i guess its somewhat how addicts feel. i used to be addicted to starvation and now i get my fix through purgeing. what i need is my mind to think clearly but i know that in its currents state of electrolyte imbalance i am totally out of it. i don't know what to do with myself i am a mess. i need for this to be under contol i have an anatomy exam on monday and studying anatomy with an electrolyte imbalance is like crossing a rollercoaster with a horror show and being so confused by the end of it that you want/ need to forget. i am in a state of woeful tears at the moment and the world just feels to much. i can't even remember why i started this, ahhh how do people cope with this. :confused:

[confuzzed]

can you get some gatoraide or even pedialyte and drink that? it should help with your electrolytes.

I know it's hard, but you can make it through this. Talk nicely to yourself about how important nutrition is and how important it is to let your body have time to absorb your food/beverages.

Hang in there, and good luck on your exam.

[mscat]

when your electrolyets get off balance this is a terrible feeling .... I suffered a ED for over 9 yrs . Many time this happening to me , I had to drink this horrible drink from the DR , to balance it out . ALso you have to worry about dehydration .

Drink lot's of water , and anything fliud that will hep you restore your electrolyes , bannanas , is what I was told to eat .

Seems like you are ready to fight your ED and to get well . you are right purging can become an addiction , try eating small healthy meals a little at a time instead of binging , hard not to binge when your body is starving for food though , but it is a must , if you want to stop doing this to yourself.