Jump to content
Mental Support Community

When I Stay Informed About Sexual Deviance


Guest GingerSnap
 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest GingerSnap

There is a couple of reasons why I read on sexual deviance - basically those things that are defined in the fancy mental health diagnosis thing. One, my husband has a sexual fetish (this allows him to avoid intimacy and feel dominant but he is abstaining from his fetish addiction/behavior versus the possibility of sudden death) and I became a part of a couple of groups (the most severe cases being the over 50 crowd where sexual addiction had overtaken their lives) - it was horrifying to me and I wish I never had to know that such existed. I should not have had to know but it is good that I know because I have a son who is 23 years old and functions at the 3 year old level. I came across a recent legal case in our state where a worker had sexual relations with a woman who was in her 30's and functions at about the 3 year old level and charges were pressed against the worker and this sick state I live in decided not to take the case to court. I am constantly reminded by my son's case manager that my son is at great risk of sexual exploitation whenever he is out of my sight. I know the location of every sexual offender in the city I live in - the State has a registry where they give the address and photo of those individuals. At the high school, there have been 3 instances that they know of in the past 3 years where staff had inappropriate sexual contact with students and this is a small town. Sexual addiction/fetishes from what I gather are not about sex at all but about the underlying mental health issues - they fill the "gap", help people manage their emotions, help people feel like they are in control of something:confused: which doesn't really make any sense to me. Our State only does legal checks in our State so any pervert can just show up and probably get employment at my son's day center but if they touch my son.......... - lovely world we live in.:eek:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My husband is on that list of sex offenders..... but he was innocent.... sounds to me like you are just a little bit paranoid.... I always told my kids the facts and they talked to me.... but to disparage someone because they are on the sex offender list????? My Husband was innocent.... how many others were?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Ginger,

I can see why you would be concerned. I have 2 children, now grown, but I too worried that someone might hurt them, and this worry was heightened most when I worked inpatient and also in corrections with violent offenders, many of who had a history of hurting others.

I think the best we can do sometimes is to always be aware and teach our children the same, and for some whose level of awareness (your son being a case in point) and their survival instinct is not well developed, we seem to need eyes everywhere.

I've come to realize now, and it may be it's just me, that worry can sometimes give a huge shadow to things that don't require it, and such shadows can block the beauty of too many wondrous sunsets. A repeatedly blocked sunset can turn a worry into an obsessive habit.

I knew a poor man once who won a medium sized lottery--- enough to allow him to live well the remainder of his life... and yet when we spoke, he told me that he would awaken often at night to worry about a foreclosure on his tiny home, or the payments for his old beater of a car, or about anything that required money. Having won the lottery did not change his mindset, it was so ingrained as to blind him to his ability to choose to be free and to enjoy his winnings-- which he never did.

I'm wondering, if I can say this with your permission, how much of this worrying has to do with your own history with your husband, and his relationship with your son?

Also, is there anything you can do? For example, can you make it a point to get to know everyone who will have direct contact with your son, thereby easing your mind a little and letting the agency know you're concerned and want to ensure his safety and that of everyone else? Most agencies welcome involved parents-- and predators tend not to take as great an interest in children whose parents are a constant presence, as it risks exposing them. It's like burglars being less willing to break into homes when there are cars parked in the driveway. While this may not guarantee his safety, it certainly may significantly decease his risk.

With great understanding,

David

Edited by David O
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pulling your car over to urinate will get you on the sex offender list (I have a friend on for this reason). Walking past a window in your own home while naked can also get you on the sex offender list. It's becoming an absolute joke at this point.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest GingerSnap

The sexual offender's registry in our state lists the basic offense so that you have a general idea of what you want to avoid. Probably a majority of people do look at this list when moving into a neighborhood especially as it relates to children. My son is now home with me 24/7 since I found him in the parking lot at the day center by himself when he was to have one-on-one supervision. The case manager has filed with Adult Protective Services. I have always been aware of these people with mental health issues of a sexual nature since when I was in kindergarten, the principal had sex with 3 of the students in his classroom - 5 & 6 grade and one became pregnant and it was a legend in our small community and a few years ago I met someone that had taught school in Chicago (they like big cities once they have been caught, I think.), a few hours from my hometown and she had the same story about one of the teacher's where she had taught except it was a couple years after the incident at home - we had a match in the name of the teacher. Right now, they are trying to sweep under the carpet the latest incident at the school here at the Gateway to Hell - many of the people here believe it should be a private matter when a 23 year female, married staff member has a sexual relationship with a junior that spans several months because "he wanted it". People can be so ignorant.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...