Greenmama Posted July 2, 2010 Report Share Posted July 2, 2010 Hey there...I have posted in three forums tonight. I guess I have a lot on my mind!!! i feel like I can post here, anonamously and be truthful where in real life it's harder to do that. I am feeling anger towards my husband. For a little history, we have never even been in a fight in the ten years we've been together. We are passionate, laugh, and I would consider him my best friend. I love with with all my soul, but I feel hurt and it makes me angry.I have been out of the hospital (self admitted) for 21 days now. The night I got home, he left for a night away from me. The following weekend, he left again for a weekend away from me. Fine...he needed space. Out of nowhere, the day after I got out of the hospital, he asked for a divorce. He said we will never work out together. He said me and him, just won't work. Well, he saw a lawyer, I saw a lawyer and after his 2nd weekend away, he decided we can work it out, for the kids.I am angry now. After being scared crapless that he would make me leave my home, and try and take my kids from me. That I would lose everything that matters to me, because I have mental health issues. Im not sure what changed his mind, but it changed. I am blessed in that way, he wants to make it work with me, but it doesn't take away the hurt, which is now leading to anger.Since then, I have felt like I'm on thin ice. With everyone. I have felt mostly blah from the meds, but the last few days I have felt angry. I guess at least I can still feel feelings.Why wasn't he there for me when I needed him most? To reassure me he would be there for me, no matter what. I know I was miserable to live with for awhile, and did some hurtful things to my family...nothing abusive, but I was pretty far out there until the hospitalization. I am angry because I feel like if I slip up, Im out. I am angry because I feel like he is keeping the divorce papers he had drawn up as a scape goat. Yes, he still has them, he says they mean nothing - they are insignificant. To me they are very significant.I am angry he hid all my credit cards. I know I screwed up financially, but it makes me mad. I am angry his mother treats me like a lepar now. I am angry angry angry. And I can't express my anger for fear of being booted.Grrr.....the vent helped. Sort of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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