Guy Out There Posted July 19, 2010 Report Share Posted July 19, 2010 Please help me guys, in any way you can!!I'm dying, i can't even sleep right now because it keeps happening, these seizures they are so painful, i can't see a doctor because its nighttime here, will i even last the night, not if these keep coming.For three days i've had them getting more and more each day, then midnight i have a seizure, its violent and it makes me ache so much inside, then i have another seizure, i cling to my bed for dear life as my body convulses rapidly, wanting to scream out in terror i plead with myself to stop yet this does not work.After 30-40 seconds it goes away but leaves me out of breath and feeling like i just climbed a mountain, how much more of this pain can i take, not much and if i have 2 more seizures before i've seen a doctor i'll go and kill myself i tell you.The pain is so much i can't take it, the fear its like an invisible killer not knowing when its going to strike it comes from inside you, please help me, i've lost control of my thoughts and my actions its so terrible i need help!!!Goodbye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Out There Posted July 19, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2010 Once again it happens and once more i am in so much pain scarred, it feels like i've been stabbed by myself, what can i do???? End it all, no more pain, no more suffering, only peace. Standing on the edge, my mind is open and free at last, now it will be my body's choice to kill me, if it happens once more my body will be telling me it wants to die and i must follow its instruction surely.Please help, give me another option, my mind is so confused and i don't want to die but i will. This is like a game of Russian roulette Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danni Posted July 19, 2010 Report Share Posted July 19, 2010 Can you go to an emergency room? call an ambulance??? this sounds serious and not somthing you should be waiting out until morning!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted July 19, 2010 Report Share Posted July 19, 2010 Hi Guy. I'm sorry you're in such pain. Please call for help. I know you are in the UK and I'm not certain of the proper procedure there, but you need the help of a qualified doctor. Be safe. Make the call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Out There Posted July 19, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2010 Thank you guys but i'm just so scared, i dare not even pick up the phone let alone drive to a hospital!!I really don't know what to do, i want so much to call an ambulance but i'm too scared, i don't want to end everything but i'm suffering so much!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted July 19, 2010 Report Share Posted July 19, 2010 Try closing your eyes for a moment and thinking of something calming. You have the strength to do this, Guy. I know it's scary, but you can do it. Your life matters and we need you here. It's okay to reach out for help. Make the call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danni Posted July 19, 2010 Report Share Posted July 19, 2010 guy... you are suffering so much... Can making the call and getting help possibly be worse? make the call... you are strong enough. we believe in you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Out There Posted July 19, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2010 Thank you IrmaJean your kind words mean alot I closed my eyes and thought of all the good times of my life, i feel a little calmer now but still i feel so worried and so in pain in my mind and in my self. I feel scarred and worthless, like even my own body has stopped caring for me, its saddening how only those who don't know me offer kind words, i hope i can find the courage to make the call before i do anything stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Out There Posted July 19, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2010 Thank you danni for your kind words also, i value them too My mind feels so weak, i just have to make a phone call, something i do everyday yet it is so hard! What if this is all in my mind and i waste the time of the doctors? People could be dying and that is something i could never live with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danni Posted July 19, 2010 Report Share Posted July 19, 2010 no matter what you are not wasting the doctors time. It's better you go and have it be nothing than not go and have it be something serious. Please don't worry about that!!!!! Take another deep breath....count to 10 and then make the call.... you can do this!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Out There Posted July 19, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2010 Thank you danni, i think i am feeling nearly ready, i will first call a helpline we have in the uk run by doctors who can give advice, if i need to go to the emergency room, they will call for me and have doctors to come and see me.Thank you IrmaJean and danni for your support, i will update you on the situation as it progresses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted July 19, 2010 Report Share Posted July 19, 2010 Your life has value, Guy. Calling for help means you would be taking care of yourself. All of us need to do that. You're hurting and you need help right now. You have the courage to do this. Make that first step toward getting well again and ask for help. I hope you feel better soon, Guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Out There Posted July 19, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2010 Thank you both so much, i'm off to make the call right now, the first step, i feel scared at what they will say and about what will happen or when the next seizue will be but i feel like i need to reach out for help so people can make me better.Once again, thanks so much for listening and giving me strength ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danni Posted July 19, 2010 Report Share Posted July 19, 2010 come back and let us know after you've made the call. You deserve to feel better!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Out There Posted July 19, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2010 Ok guys i found the strength to make the call and spoke to a lovely woman who calmed me down and gave me some advice. She seems to think my problem needs investigating further and to contact my doctor when it is morning here, thats another 4 hours away when my doctor is available, i'm still scared, she said it could be something serious...No convulsions now for an hour so thats good !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danni Posted July 19, 2010 Report Share Posted July 19, 2010 hang in there guy... Can you get some rest in these next hours???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Out There Posted July 19, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2010 An update:Went to see a doctor this morning and he doesn't think the convulsions were 'fits' as in epilepsy, thats good news however he doesn't know what the cause of the convulsions is and so he's sent me for more tests.I'm feeling much better now guys, far from suicidal which is good, thanks for your support, it helped me though the night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ASchwartz Posted July 19, 2010 Report Share Posted July 19, 2010 Hello Guy,Congratulations. We are always here to be helpful and supportive. Is you Doctor sending you to a neurologist?Allan:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Out There Posted July 19, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2010 Hi Allan, I'm not sure if the doctor is sending me to a neurologist, so far he just did some practical tests and ruled out epilepsy, he doesn't know what it could be so he also sent for a blood count (to rule out possible bacteria/viral infection etc)If that returns nothing then i will request to see a neurologist if he doesn't send me.Take Care, Jack [Guy] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted July 19, 2010 Report Share Posted July 19, 2010 I'm glad you're feeling better today, Jack. I hope the doctors find an answer for you. Take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Out There Posted August 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 I was just reading these earlier episodes now. Were you ever seen by a neurologist?I was never seen by a neurologist, instead i was given the diagnosis of bipolar, told that i would have to wait for treatment and to see a specialist.I went to the doctor and he decided i was a more urgent case, he called the specialists and they just told me to wait.I was due for an MRI scan (scanning for brain tumors i think), but that got cancelled by the hospital and a further appointment was never made. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Out There Posted August 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 Sounds like a good plan, thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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